When I arrived at the classroom, I found my seat and sat down. My only best friend in school also appeared at the right time.
This guy was called Jiang Fan. He had a long face, a thunderous mouth, and a dark complexion. If he was in ancient times, he would look like a mutant.
If there was someone in our class with a worse reputation than me, it would probably be this guy. He liked to peep and run around naked. He even registered himself at the police station, but miraculously, he hadn't been caught yet … Compared to him, I didn't feel like I was a pervert, but a normal person.
But because both of us were isolated by normal society, we developed a friendship over time.
"Yo, where did you run around naked during the holidays?" I asked casually.
The surrounding students also pricked their ears curiously.
"I don't like to run around naked. Didn't I tell you that it was an accident last time?" He roared in exasperation.
"Yeah, I know, I know."
I calmly pushed his face away.
Well, since running around naked wasn't something worth bragging about, it was normal to say things that didn't match your heart.
He slapped my hand away and asked, "How was your holiday?"
"Terrible." I sighed and told him about how my parents had chased me out of the house.
"Then, your spiritual food …" He was stunned and then asked in a low voice.
"It's gone." I looked sad and angry.
"It's okay, your brother will help you. I happened to find some good things during the holidays …"
After chatting for a while, I watched that guy leave.
"You guys are really birds of a feather," the spectral girl who hadn't spoken since the beginning said.
"It's called being birds of a feather, okay?"
I retorted softly while trying not to be discovered by others. "And it's not just us. Except for a few people who already have money, all the boys in our class are in the same alliance. We share some good things with each other …"
To be honest, this small group was probably the only thing I was reluctant to leave for school.
"The friendship between boys is really …" Tantai Nainai thought for a long time before she came up with a passable adjective. "It's really amazing."
I pursed my lips and didn't answer.
At this moment, the classroom door opened and a girl walked in.
Our school didn't require us to wear uniforms, so most of the students wore casual clothes. However, she followed the rules and wore the blue and white uniform that looked like sportswear. Her ponytail made her look energetic. In addition, she wore a pair of old-fashioned black-rimmed glasses on her slightly chubby face.
It was precisely because of this kind of almost no personality that the girl's presence in the class was not high. After she came in, only two or three girls greeted her. You should know that this was not the usual morning reading, but the first morning after the long holiday. Not only our class, but also the other classes could vaguely hear the noise of their noisy voices.
The students who hadn't seen each other for a long time couldn't wait to share their holiday experiences with their friends in their small circle, or talk about the popular TV series. Therefore, every time a student came in, their friends would call them over to chat.
Other than Jiang Fan, she was the only one who was as pitiful as me. In fact, Jiang Fan was quite popular in the class because he had a lot of hard goods that circulated among the boys.
Of course, being popular and having a bad reputation were not contradictory.
"Song Shan, long time no see ~" I greeted her out of politeness and empathy.
The girl nodded shyly and then shrank back into her seat.
"Wait, you can actually take the initiative to talk to girls in real life?!"
Tantai Nainai's surprised voice almost made me deaf. If it wasn't for the fact that ordinary people couldn't hear her voice, the entire class would have been shocked into silence by this lion's roar that was far louder than the class teacher's …
Also, she emphasized the words' in real life '. Was it my imagination?
"That's so rude, anyone would know one or two girls."
I said with dissatisfaction, "And Song Shan is my childhood sweetheart."
"What, you have a childhood sweetheart?!"
What greeted me was a second wave of lion's roar that was even more powerful. Not far from me, the glasses of a skinny boy wearing glasses were shattered.
Obviously, ordinary people couldn't hear it, but it was able to shatter the glasses. What kind of principle was this … Although this thought appeared in my mind, I didn't study physics, so I didn't think too much about this phenomenon that might win me a Nobel Prize in Physics.
"Her house used to be next to mine, and we were in the same class ever since we were young." I replied in a low voice, "I often played with her when I was a child, but she stopped playing with me when I was in the fourth grade. Moreover, she became gloomy and introverted."
"Isn't that an obvious strategy flag?!"
"Oh, you know what a flag is."
Surprise, was there such a thing as a strategy flag five years ago?
"It's because my sister used to let me play with her … No, that's not what we're talking about!"
The spectral girl looked away shyly, "In short, isn't it easier to start with this girl? Since she's a childhood sweetheart, we should know each other well, so it should be easy for her parents. "
"Tch, but I want to interact with a girl who's prettier …"
"Then you should go find a math teacher."
"Sorry, I was wrong. Let's go back to our roots and think about how to woo my childhood sweetheart!"
"… Don't you have any sense of shame?"
"I've already thrown away that kind of thing along with my moral integrity!" I scratched my head in distress, "That's true, but although it's fine in school classrooms, Song Shan has always been avoiding me in private."
"From what you said before, something should have happened when you were in the fourth grade. Do you have any clues?"
"No." I thought for a moment and said decisively.
"That's troublesome …"
"That's right, that's right. We used to be in a relationship where we could lift her skirt, but now she's so cold. It's sad."
"…"
"Also, we can play doctor games together. By the way, I should mention the genius surgeon Roo. I'm best at palpation."
"…"
"What's wrong? Why does she look like she stepped on a cockroach?"
"No matter how I look at it, it's all because of you, bastard!"
I was scolded for no reason.
That's why girls are so hard to understand (shrug).
☆
"The first 'Love Otaku' conference officially begins!"
After school and returning to the apartment, Tantai Nainai, who had returned to her Earth-bound Spirit form, took out a whiteboard and wrote on it with a marker.
I sat on the tatami and clapped my hands. I don't know if it's because I'm still not used to it, but I felt my shoulders ache after leaning on it for a day.
The big-breasted beauties in the anime who say that 'it's not a good thing to have a big chest, your shoulders will be sore' probably have the same feeling. Thinking about it this way, I felt the soreness in my shoulders lessen a lot.
"The easiest way to increase a girl's favorability is to accumulate feelings over time. However, this takes too long and it's easy to be NTRed by the heavens, so I'll pass for now."
The spirit girl who had changed her clothes back into a white dress explained seriously.
I also pretended to be engrossed in my studies, and at the same time, I secretly bent down to see the truth of the universe hidden under her dress.
"Considering that her favorability towards you is very likely to be in the negative right now, you might be able to borrow a certain god's theory and continue to deepen her bad impression of you. When you reach a certain threshold, you can use a decisive reversal of events. The advantage of doing this is that you don't have to act, you just have to continue acting as perverted as you are now."
At the end, the chopping board once again smashed me to the ground with the spirit girl's anger.
I raised my trembling hand and asked: "It seems quite simple, this kind of simple and easy to understand is more suitable for me … Oh right, what's the disadvantage?"
"The disadvantage is that if you don't handle it well, it's very easy to end up with a chopping board … Ah, but a bad end for a pervert like you might be a happy end for the world."
"I object! How could such an honest and upright person like me use such an evil method to win the heart of a young girl! This is blasphemy to the word 'love'! "
"Hurry up and remember what you said three seconds ago …"
The spirit girl had a 'I really don't know what to do with you' look on her face. She continued: "Since neither the righteous nor evil methods are suitable, we can only use the righteous method."
"The righteous method? Don't tell me it's the kind of domineering declaration in romance novels where you force a kiss on the wall? "
I searched through my pitiful knowledge of romance novels to find some possibilities and asked the spirit girl expectantly.
"Don't mess around, that's a method only rich and handsome guys can use. The only outcome for you is to be locked up in the correctional center, okay?"
"…"
After hearing the truth of this world, tears flowed down my face …
"The so-called righteous method is actually the application of the suspension bridge effect." Tantai Nainai didn't care about my young and weak heart, and continued: "The so-called suspension bridge effect is when a person's heart beats faster due to danger or other reasons. If there's a person of the opposite sex beside you at this time, it's very easy to mistake this feeling for the other party's heartbeat and develop additional feelings. The most common example is the so-called 'hero saves the beauty'."
"I understand … In short, you'll pretend to be a ghost and scare her, then I'll bravely step forward to save her, right?"
"Hmph, something like that. After the tributes you've provided for the past two days, my power has increased. Now I can create realistic illusions to scare her. When the time comes, you can act like you're scaring me away and you'll be able to gain her favor. After that, as long as you do it step by step, you'll be able to quickly accumulate enough favorability. As long as the confession is successful, everything will be simple. The most important thing is that it won't take much time, hahahaha. "
"Wah, you're laughing like a villain …"
"Shut up! Whose fault do you think this is! "
☆
Due to the suspension bridge effect tomorrow, Tantai Nainai had to get enough rest to conserve her energy for the upcoming battle.
Speaking of which, the spirit girl was the one who came up with the name for this plan … I really don't agree with her taste in naming things …
In short, I once again headed towards the convenience store downstairs.
In the evening of summer, without the fireball burning in the sky and roasting the earth, the surrounding temperature was significantly lower than during the day. It even gave me the illusion of a cool breeze. After all, the room I rented was too small and there was no insulation board on the roof. Staying inside during the day was like staying in an oven. If I casually opened the windows, it would attract the invasion of an army of mosquitoes. Even the electric mosquito coils could only protect a small area from the mosquitoes. Even now, the heat in the room still hadn't dissipated. If I casually walked in, it would feel no different from walking into a sauna.
"Welcome."
The voice of the convenience store clerk rang in my ears. After I nodded at him as a greeting, I walked towards the shelves inside. After all, I'll be staying here for a while, so it was necessary to have a good relationship with the convenience store clerk. Sometimes, they can provide you with unexpected surprises.
— — For example, the arrival of my spiritual food, or the short promotion period of some limited good items.
"Bento bento ~"
If it weren't for its existence, I would've probably died from eating instant noodles.
"There are actually so many of them, lucky ~"
While enjoying the free air conditioning in the convenience store, I leaned over and compared the labels on the bento in the open freezer.
The first one was without a doubt the New Orleans Roasted Drumstick Bento. The second one was more ambiguous. Whether it was braised pork ribs or black pepper beef fillet, I quite liked them both.
"Tomato beef brisket … Eh, there's a new flavor? I really can't underestimate it. Convenience stores have been developing too quickly recently … Then, tomato beef brisket, it's decided on you! "
As a person, you should always have some adventurous spirit. Anyway, if it doesn't taste good, I can still give it to Tantai Nainai as a tribute.
Because there seemed to be a bento hunter waiting for a bento discount, I didn't stay at the bento for too long. I took the bento I wanted and a bottle of oolong tea and ran to the counter to pay the bill.
However, there seemed to be someone else at the counter.
The other party was wearing a very common advertising uniform with the words "Sha Ling Snacks" printed on the back. It seemed like he was a delivery man.
Speaking of which, there were bento in the convenience store, but the clerk still wanted to order delivery? Was this the so-called "never touch the things in the store" belief? I really didn't understand them.
While the clerk was taking the money, the delivery man came to me for some reason.
Could it be that he wanted to use this opportunity to promote the food in their store? Wasn't he too professional?!
"Dear benefactor." The moment he opened his mouth, his tone was filled with the thick stench of a charlatan, "I can see that your glabella is dark, and your entire body is filled with dense Yin energy. I'm afraid that you've encountered a ghost. I have a Sarira that has been consecrated. The current sale price is only 198 …"
As he spoke, he dug out a plastic bead from his pocket that looked like it was taken from a plastic bracelet commonly seen in street stalls. He didn't even remove the holes on it, yet he openly pretended to be a Buddhist relic.
I say, can scammers nowadays be more professional? Do they really think that everyone is an idiot …
"Well, if you think the Buddhist relic isn't good enough, I also have a Taoist talisman here, it's also consecrated …"
"So, are you a monk or a Taoist priest?!"
"Benefactor, you're thinking too much, the so-called Buddha is Taoism …"
"That's a novel!"
"… There are many reasons, it's not convenient to explain to benefactor."
Just directly say that you can't make it up!
"I also have a bottle of Nine Flower Jade Dew Pills …"
"Hey, you're suddenly demoted to a Wuxia level! Speaking of which, this looks like an ordinary hawthorn! "
I looked at the name tag on his chest.
Perhaps because he was afraid that people would complain, this guy deliberately used a towel to cover his name tag. I could only faintly see the word "Xu".
"That's enough. Don't try to act all mysterious here." At this time, the clerk took out a pile of coins and gave it to the delivery man surnamed Xu: "Hurry up and leave, don't harm my customer."
"I'm just being nice … How can you call this a scam when it comes to saving the world …" The delivery man mumbled as he walked out of the convenience store. He got on a small sheep and slowly disappeared from the view of the window with an incomprehensible expression.
"Does that delivery man always do this kind of thing?"
I asked out of curiosity. After all, this kind of strange person wasn't something you could meet every day.
"No, it's the first time I've seen him do this, but he's always been a little strange." The clerk paid the bill for me: "Just think of it as warming it up for you."
"No need, I'll just eat it cold."
Since the apartment was just across the street and the weather was so hot, if I really heated it up in the microwave, it wouldn't be cold enough to eat by the time I reached home.
"That's a total of 32 yuan. You're welcome to come again."
I left the convenience store with a confused look on my face as the store clerk sent me off.
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