What's the meaning of living?
This question has been pondered by countless thinkers and philosophers in the past thousands of years. If you want to integrate all these points of view, even a hundred thick books won't be able to fully explain it.
So, it's better not to think about it.
Since it's a fruitless journey, it's better to give up from the beginning.
But, as early as a few days ago, Accelerator came to an answer.
He was living for the sake of "death".
He didn't have any expectations for the future, nor did he want to give himself the slightest hope.
But this answer was shaken at this moment.
He was kicked in the chest by Zhanqi. Even though he instinctively used his arms to block, he couldn't withstand the force of the kick. Accelerator rolled on the steel bars in a sorry state.
His head was splitting, his vision was blurred, and even his breath was filled with the smell of blood. Even if he didn't do anything, he would soon die from blood loss. But Tsurugi seemed to treat this kind of abuse as a form of entertainment. He wanted to slowly torture the dying Accelerator.
After choking on his own blood and coughing uncontrollably, Accelerator vaguely heard Tsurugi's words.
"You little brat … You look like you have nothing left to cling to. But do you think that your sacrifice can really save anything?"
Accelerator slightly moved his lips, but he seemed to have lost the strength to speak. He could only endure the pain and stare at Tsurugi with his red eyes.
"The answer is no!! You didn't save anything at all. Academy City will be destroyed by me in the end, and you will die here like a broken rag — — If that's the case, do you still think your death has any meaning?! "
The meaning of living is death, but if death has no meaning, then what's the point of living?
Whether it's the independent personality, the final work, Huang Quan River, Yoshikawa, or even the powerless "Tōma Jōjō", in the end, he still couldn't save himself.
Tsurugi's angry roar echoed in his ears, but he didn't have the strength to care.
What surrounded Accelerator was endless pain, coldness, and despair.
Seriously … I've never succeeded in anything I do. Not only did I fail to help the crying 'independent personality', but I also didn't kill the powerless one … In the end, I still failed the mission.)
Whether it was monitoring Tōma Jōjō to prevent him from getting too involved, or killing Tōma Jōjō on the 26th, Accelerator couldn't do it.
Because that powerless person was risking his life to pull him back from the bottomless darkness.
After taking a few heavy kicks, Accelerator did not resist at all and allowed Tsurugi to beat him up.
There was no movement, nor was there any intention to disobey. The first person just curled up his body and tried to reduce the force as much as possible, as if he was dead.
Tsurugi clicked his tongue and kicked Accelerator!
The goal was to be the first to be kicked off the steel bar and fall to his death at a height of 200m.
Accelerator's thin body was instantly kicked off the round platform. After rolling a few times on the steel bar, he lost his balance and leaned to the side.
Just as he was about to roll off the steel bar, Accelerator suddenly reached out his hand and grabbed the edge. Although he stabilized his body at the moment of life and death, his lower body was already hanging in the air and looked to be in imminent danger.
"Hey, hey, this is different from what we agreed on. Didn't you think that 'living' is completely meaningless? If that's the case, why are you struggling at death's door like this? "
Accelerator gasped for breath with difficulty. His head that was dyed red with black blood hung down powerlessly. In order to maintain the motion of holding onto the steel bar, the first person had already exhausted all his strength. His brain was tortured by the dull pain to the point where he could barely think.
However, at that moment, he still subconsciously grabbed onto the steel bar.
Because he wanted to live. Even if he was in a miserable state, he still wanted to live.
"… I can't, die yet …"
Accelerator said intermittently as he gasped in pain.
"It's because … I haven't … done anything, so … I have to live …"
What was the point of living?
This kind of thing was completely unanswerable.
Even if he was living to die, why didn't he kill himself when he was born? Why did he choose to live painfully until now?
Therefore, he probably didn't live for something like "death".
Maybe Accelerator, in his heart, longed for the light of "life" more than anyone else.
Seeing Accelerator like this, Tsurugi's face showed a look of disgust. His already hideous face became even more terrifying due to the distortion of his muscles.
"Why are you still pretending at a time like this? It's so unpleasant that I want to vomit! What's with the pompous talk about wanting to live? You're clearly a monster that can even mercilessly abandon your companions, yet you're still saying such laughable words — "
He used the sole of his shoe to crush Accelerator's hand. He spun his foot in disgust as if he was stepping on scraps of paper. Tsurugi laughed maniacally as he looked at the first person who was about to faint from the pain.
"— A monster like you doesn't have the right to live, and no one expects you to live!!"
At that moment, the meaning of Accelerator's existence as a human was denied.
The first person felt a terrifying sense of suffocation and dizziness. This wasn't all caused by the lack of oxygen and blood. Tsurugi's words were like a sharp sword that pierced deeply into his heart.
He was a monster.
This was an indisputable fact.
And — — he had been silently giving in the past, the present, and the future. There would be no return.
But he still wanted to live.
No matter how much he was cursed, criticized, and discriminated against, no matter how many thorns of pain he carried on his shoulders, he still wanted to live.
But when he realized this, it was already too late.
Tsurugi raised his foot. A victorious and ugly smile cracked on his face.
With just a light kick, Accelerator would fall. This height of 200m was undoubtedly fatal for him.
"Goodbye … No, it's goodbye forever. Accelerator. In the end, no one came to help you — — how pitiful. "
He had already expected this kind of thing to happen.
He had already foreshadowed the fact that he would die alone.
But he was unwilling to accept it.
He wanted others to admit that he could live as a human — — his wish was so simple. But now, even this small wish couldn't be realized.
Tsurugi's words echoed in his ears.
["— A monster like you doesn't have the right to live, and no one expects you to live!!"]
Accelerator closed his eyes and let out a self-deprecating sigh. Then, he smiled.
Because it involved his wound, this smile looked quite twisted, but it was the first sincere smile that came from his heart.
It turned out that he just hoped that someone would have expectations for him.
Tsurugi's foot landed fiercely.
Death.
Cold.
End.
It should have been like this.
It should have been like this.
But — — one second before Tsurugi's foot landed, the Beret man received a heavy blow to his cheek.
It wasn't a weapon, nor was it an attack with praiseworthy strength.
It was just an ordinary punch from a male high school student filled with anger.
"What …?!"
Tsurugi was actually pushed back by this punch. After standing still for a while, he finally saw the figure of the person who came.
Tōma Jōjō, glaring at him, stood resolutely in front of Accelerator. He didn't have a strong body, nor did he carry any weapons, but when he stood in front of Tsurugi, the Beret man felt an indescribable pressure.
This was Tōma Jōjō.
"Don't give up, Accelerator."
The teenager with the imagination of a killer said so in a low voice.
In front of the stunned Accelerator, he shouted with all his strength.
These were words from the bottom of his heart, without any pretense of emotion.
Tōma Jōjō shouted to Accelerator.
As if he was about to cry, he shouted with all his might.
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