The room was filled with hot air. The heat emitted by the radiator, the evaporated sweat, and the warm flow of breath mixed together and rose to the surface of the cold glass. The mist condensed into water droplets and slowly slid down, forming a long trail. The dim light from the street lights outside the window was refracted into a colorful light, like a kaleidoscope, showing a different world.
Fan Chunfang closed her eyes and lay on her side quietly. Her nose was slightly moving, and her forehead was covered in sweat, mixed with tears that flowed down her cheeks. Lu Yiwei panted heavily as he lay on his back, staring at the ceiling without blinking. He couldn't imagine that the woman lying beside him was his wife, but why couldn't he find the feeling of the past?
Fan Chunfang hugged Lu Yiwei's neck and whispered in his ear, "Yiwei, how long has it been since you've been intimate with me?"
Lu Yiwei pursed his lips and sat up, picking up a cigarette from the table and lighting it up. He leaned on the bed and smoked silently. The flickering cigarette butt flickered in the dark room, illuminating his slightly weathered face, but unable to see through his heart. Once there was a gap, it was impossible to return to the past.
Lu Yiwei was also reflecting on himself, wondering if he was too sentimental or if there was a flaw in his character. But no matter how many women he had loved, he had never betrayed his marriage and carefully protected it. He knew that this marriage wasn't easy to come by. The failure of his previous marriage was still unforgettable. He thought that history wouldn't repeat itself, but he didn't expect the scene today to be so shockingly similar to the past.
In his previous marriage, Li Shu-man's father forced him to divorce. Although he didn't force him in this marriage, it was like an arrow on the bow, waiting to be fired at any time. At the end of the day, it was because he wasn't strong enough. All sorts of disdain and complaints. Admittedly, he didn't do well enough. For Su Meng, he became dispirited and unable to recover. Fortunately, Fan Chunfang gave him unlimited tolerance and understanding, pulling him back from the edge of despair.
He and Fan Chunfang didn't have any emotional foundation, but he had never thought of betraying her. Especially when Lang Lang was born, it made him rely on and love him in every possible way. Moreover, the other party did a good job. He never had to worry about the matters of the family. She took care of everything by herself. She also took good care of him. With such a virtuous and virtuous wife, how could he not be satisfied?
Apart from the interference of forces outside the family, there were also internal problems. Over the years, he realized that he and Fan Chunfang had almost nothing in common. They mostly talked about family matters and rarely had any emotional interaction. This caused the already unstable marriage to be covered with a layer of frost.
Lu Yiwei convinced himself in his heart and took the initiative to embrace Fan Chunfang. After a long time, he said, "Chunfang, I'm busy with work. Everything at home depends on you. I'm not a good husband, nor a good father, but there are many things that I can't control … Can you understand? "
Fan Chunfang nodded and said, "Don't say anymore, I can understand. It's normal for a man to have a career, and everything you do is for the two of us to live a good life. But every time I see you so tired, I feel sad … Actually, I don't want you to be a high-ranking official. I just want you to be safe, to be able to go home every day to eat some hot food and spend more time with Lang Lang. That's enough. "
Lu Yiwei sighed and said, "Isn't this the life I want? But I can't help it."
"Well, I grew up in such an environment. My parents are busy with their own things. I often go to sleep alone, and when I wake up, they are not back. At that time, I swore that I would not let my child repeat the same mistakes, but I didn't expect … You have promised Lang Lang so many times. Can you bring him to the aquarium this weekend? "
"I'll try my best."
Fan Chunfang was a little disappointed and had an indescribable feeling in her heart. At this time, Lang Lang's crying came from outside the door. She quickly got up, put on her clothes and hurried out.
After some tossing and turning, Lu Yiwei could not sleep. He simply sat up, put on his clothes, turned on the desk lamp, and sat in front of the desk, not knowing what to do. After rummaging around, a magazine fell out from under a stack of books. He picked it up and saw that it was "Xijiang Literature".
Lu Yiwei had a liberal arts background. He had always had a humanistic romantic feeling in his bones and was especially sensitive to words. Especially when he saw beautiful articles, he was often moved to tears and could not help but pick up a pen. But often at this time, he did not know what to write. In the past, he often wrote essays and poems, but later on, he had no time to write. Now, he had even less time. He dealt with eight-part essay materials all day. Even if he read for a while, he could not calm down.
Lu Yiwei blew away the dust on it. The date was 2002. It had been four or five years, and he did not know how to preserve it. He roughly skimmed through it, but there were no high-quality articles. Most of them were moaning without reason. Just as he was about to throw it away, he seemed to find something. He picked it up again and opened it. A prose poem "Disappearing in the sky of Asia" caught his attention.
The sky of Asia,
Burying all my admiration in it,
The beautiful hourglass,
Comprehending in the torrent of time,
I sincerely pray for you,
For your happiness, I do not cry.
It is the beautiful journey of life,
Stopping at the Milky Way of Asia,
Dancing by the Moon Lake,
It is to send you on your journey.
If you get lost on the way,
Looking up at the Milky Way in the sky,
That dance by the Asiatic River,
Every star was telling the story.
Bravely walk out of the fog,
The temperature that can bestow you,
Is my most sincere blessing,
Just for you to remember.
The poem was not flowery, but there was true feelings between the lines. If one tried to feel it carefully, he seemed to be able to understand the feelings that the author wanted to express. He could even imagine the situation under which it was written.
What Lu Yiwei was interested in was not the poem itself, but the author of the poem. Yingxue, such a charming, graceful, and poetic name, just in line with today's snow scene. If he remembered correctly, her real name was Qiu Yingxue.
If he had not read this article, Lu Yiwei would have forgotten about her. They first met in a coffee shop in Nanzhou City. She was wearing a pure white dress, sitting there quietly reading a book and drinking coffee. He had thought that they were just passers-by. Who would have thought that they would soon meet at the Provincial Party Committee's Party School and become classmates?
At that time, Lu Yiwei was in an emotional vacuum, and he even had the idea of pursuing her. Because she also skipped class with him and went to the capital to hold an art exhibition for her dead boyfriend. After the Party School, they never met again.
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