Walking through history, not many people would care about the mental journey of those who had failed.
Thirty-six years ago, Si Zhongxian was born in Zhejiang Xiuzhou. This was the location of the later Jiaxing. Since ancient times, it could be considered a flourishing and romantic place in Jiangnan. Scholars came in large numbers, and the Si family was a scholarly family. For several generations, there had been people who became officials in the court. His father, Si Wenzhong, was in the Ministry of Rites. Even though his position wasn't high, he was still a highly respected official.
When Si Zhongxian was born, the Wu dynasty was in a period of prosperity and prosperity. Other than the Blackwater Alliance that later highlighted the exhaustion of the Wu dynasty's military affairs, everything in front of his eyes was a scene of prosperity.
The arrival of prosperity gave people more choices. Si Zhongxian had been intelligent since he was young, and he didn't like to follow the rules and regulations of his family too much. He had many questions since he was young, and he didn't completely accept the things in books. Many times, the questions he raised made even the teachers in the academy feel that he was being tricky.
Even though his father was the most inflexible official of the Ministry of Rites, he was still a person of genuine ability and learning. Towards this child's' deviance ', not only did he not get angry, he would often praise him in front of others: This child will definitely become our Si family's qilin child in the future.
Even though the Si family was a scholarly family, after the Blackwater Alliance, Si Zhongxian had the heart to practice martial arts, and Si Wenzhong also gave him his support. Later on, the Black Flag rebellion, the Bianliang military disaster, and the humiliation of Jingping came one after another. When the imperial court wanted to revitalize military equipment, Si Zhongxian, this type of scholarly general who understood the art of war and didn't break the rules, became the favorite target of both the imperial family and the civil officials.
After the Black Flag crossed the mountain ridges and took root in Liang Mountain, Sichuan became dangerous. At this time, having Si Zhongxian go to the southwest to guard Sword Pavilion was the greatest display of trust towards him.
During the several years he spent in Sword Pavilion, Si Zhongxian did not fail to live up to this trust and expectation. He firmly grasped the various goods and materials that flowed out of the Black Flag faction. As long as it was something that could increase the strength of the Wu dynasty, Si Zhongxian would give it great convenience.
As for the various luxury goods that could bring great benefits to the Chinese army, Si Zhongxian did not blindly suppress them, only carrying out targeted restrictions. Towards some merchant companies that had good reputations and were loyal to the military and patriotic, Si Zhongxian earnestly advised them several times, wishing them to explore and learn the Black Flag Army's methods of manufacturing goods. In this aspect, he even took the initiative to appear twice, threatening the Black Flag Army to hand over a portion of their key technology.
In front of Si Zhongxian, the Huaxia Army also made a lot of concessions. Over time, Si Zhongxian became even more famous.
While he was guarding the Sword Garret, he did not only pursue such a general reputation. The Sword Garret was under the jurisdiction of Li Province, but Si Zhongxian was an official of the capital in name and was not under the jurisdiction of the local government. In Lizhou, he was basically a grass king with independent authority. Si Zhongxian used this type of authority to not only protect the local law and order, using the convenience of trade, he also mobilized the local residents to provide some supporting services. Apart from this, when the soldiers were not training, Si Zhongxian would learn from the Huaxia Army, mobilizing the soldiers to open up wastelands, farm, and develop water conservancy for the people. Not long after, he also made many contributions that were praised by everyone.
These things were actually also because of the expansion of the military power during the Jianshuo era. Si Zhongxian cultivated both civil and martial arts, his authority was great, and he was also on good terms with many civil officials. When other armies interfered in a place, they might still be reported a few times each year. In Si Zhongxian's case, Li Province was barren, and apart from Sword Gate Pass, it didn't have much strategic significance. Almost no one criticized his actions. Even if it was mentioned, most of them would raise their thumbs in praise. This was the model of military reform.
As an official, one had to serve the world, the imperial court, and the people. Before this, Si Zhongxian had actually done all of this. This was also the core of the culture he had learned since he was young. Only in the autumn of the eleventh year did the most difficult choice appear in front of him.
The Jurchen had come, the Jianshuo Emperor had died, his family had been captured, and his father had been sent over. The Wu dynasty only existed in name, and the Black Flag was not a righteous cause. From the perspective of the world, there were some things that were very good to choose: Rely on the Huaxia army, and the Jurchen invasion of the southwest would be greatly hindered. However, he was an official of the Wu dynasty. In the end, for the sake of the Huaxia army, he had to pay with the lives of his entire family. What was the point? This naturally wasn't a choice that could be made just because he said so.
Regarding this matter, even if he asked his father, who was usually awe-inspiring with a sense of righteousness, his father was completely unable to make a decision. Si Wenzhong was already old. He was at home playing with his grandson. "… If it was for the sake of the Wu dynasty, the Si family would be completely destroyed. You and I … would also accept it. But now, the Black Flag has committed treason and committed heresy. For the sake of them, I have to pay with my entire family. I … am unwilling. "
This was what Si Wenzhong said in front of his son. The old man also mentioned the idea of protecting the southwest for the Wu dynasty and then waiting for an opportunity to return. "Although our Wu dynasty has enmity with the Jins and the Black Flag up to this point, it has still come to this. The small court in the capital is now under the control of the Jurchen, but there are still many officials in the court who are loyal to the Wu dynasty. It's just that they don't dare to be angry … Although the new emperor has been besieged, I can see that he is like a fierce tiger. As long as he can escape, it's not impossible for him to rise again in the future. "
In the sword pavilion, Si Wenzhong lowered his voice and told his son about Junwu. "As long as the new emperor can escape, the Jurchen won't be able to stay here for long after conquering the southwest. At that time, those who are still loyal to the Wu dynasty will certainly respond. Perhaps this is the only chance for Tiannan to return to the Wu dynasty … Of course, I'm already old and my thinking may be muddled. All decisions will still have to be made by you, Zhongxian. No matter what decision you make, there will be righteousness. Whether my Si family perishes or survives … it doesn't matter. You don't need to worry about it. "
However, although the old man's words were open-minded, he wasn't without inclinations in private. He was also worried about his family in Jiangnan and the few talented and intelligent children in his clan — who wouldn't be worried?
In fact, up until the decision was made, Si Zhongxian had always been considering the idea of conspiring with the Chinese army to lure the Jurchen into the pass and annihilate them.
By the end of September, the lobbying from all sides was getting more and more intense. Outside of Sword Gate Pass, hundreds and thousands of people were dying in front of their eyes every day, and further away, the Female Enlightened Masters were preparing to storm the pass every day. The day when he needed to make a decision was approaching.
On the third day of the tenth month, his father came to talk to him about making a decision. The old man verbally expressed his support for everything he did. Si Zhongxian said, "If that's the case, I'm willing to hand over Swords Gate to the Black Flag."
The old man didn't try to persuade him. Half a day later, he privately told the Jurchen emissary about the matter and told the members of Swords Gate who were inclined to surrender. They tried to launch a military remonstrance and capture Si Zhongxian, but Si Zhongxian was already prepared and the whole matter was suppressed by him. After that, when he saw his father again, Si Zhongxian cried and said, "Since father insists, then surrender. It's just that I'm sorry, father. From now on, although the crime of surrendering will be shouldered by me, the crime of surrendering will fall on father's head … "
On the fifth day of the tenth month, Swords Gate Pass officially surrendered to the Jin Kingdom. Wanyan Zonghan walked past him and casually patted him on the shoulder. In the following days, there were all kinds of banquets and flattery. No one cared about Si Zhongxian's choice this time.
This was good.
In the sunny and rainy weather, Swords Gate Pass quickly changed its flag. The Jurchen carriages came like a flood. The Wu dynasty army moved out of the pass and went to the nearby Cangxi County garrison. Si Zhongxian numbly waited for the flow of history to quietly pass by him. He only hoped that when he opened his eyes, the world would already have a different shape.
However, everything didn't go as he wished.
On the fifteenth day of the tenth month, Wanyan Xibao came to find him. As the son of Wanyan Zonghan, Wanyan Xibao, who was conferred the title of King of Baoshan, was a rough looking man who spoke without restraint. In the past few days, during the banquets, he and Si Zhongxian had exchanged intimate words and drank several cups of wine. This time, after greeting each other in the army camp, he put his arm around Si Zhongxian's shoulder and pulled him out for a horse ride.
The team of horses galloped up the nearby hills. Ahead was Cangxi County.
The county was not big. Due to its remote location, before Si Zhongxian came to the Sword Garret, there were occasional bandits in the nearby mountains. In the past few years, Si Zhongxian had exterminated the bandits and taken care of the surrounding areas. Life in the county was stable and the population had increased. But in total, there were only about twenty thousand people.
Wanyan Xibao had also heard of Si Zhongxian's actions of benefiting the surrounding people. At this time, looking at the peaceful scene of the county, he praised without restraint. He then patted Si Zhongxian's shoulder and said, "There is a matter that has been decided. I need Lord Si's cooperation."
"What is it?" Si Zhongxian frowned.
"I have come for Cangxi County." Xibao smiled. "Lord Si also knows that the war is imminent and rations must come first. The battle with the Black Flag is the last journey for our Great Jin to pacify the world. No matter how we prepare, it is never too much. And this autumn has just passed. We need to collect rations and rations. The people who work for the army need to be pulled. Cangxi also needs to contribute. Lord Si, if this matter was in other places, we would kill half of the people and pull the other half. But in consideration of Lord Si's face and the fact that you have taken care of Cangxi for a long time, it has been decided in the tent today that this matter will be handed over to Lord Si to handle. There is also a number in the middle. Lord Si, please take a look. There are about thirty thousand people and six hundred thousand dans of rations … "
Si Zhongxian listened and gradually widened his eyes. "There are only about twenty thousand people in the entire city …"
Xibao said, "There are more than that in the entire county."
"… and six hundred thousand dans of rations. Most of them are mountain people. Perhaps this is the annual rations for thirty thousand people! Your Majesty … "
Si Zhongxian cupped his hands and was about to speak when Xibao's hand had already slapped down. His gaze was impatient. "Lord Si, brother! I see you as my brother, there's no need to play dumb. The area west of Swords Gate Pass is very close to the Black Banners. These villagers, who knows if they will pick up their weapons and become soldiers. If my uncles come here, there won't be anyone left alive. Moreover, this is a chance for you. It is a test for you, Brother Si. "
Si Zhongxian's gaze trembled. His emotions were extremely intense. "I … have looked after this place for many years. Now, you want me … to destroy this place?!"
"Give. My. Name." Wanyan Xibao leaned over and patted the back of Si Zhongxian's hand. His voice was extremely low. "After doing this, we are all on the same side."
"… I have already given up the Sword Gate."
"You gave up the Sword Gate because you know you are no match for us. But who knows if you are secretly on the same side as us?" Xibao shook his head and then smiled. "Of course, I believe you. Father also believes you. But what about the uncles in the army? The expedition to the southwest this time has already been confirmed. We must fulfill our promise to you. We will not move the soldiers under your command forward. But after the southwest is over, you will be the King of Shu. With such an honorable position, you will have to convince the uncles in the army. You just need to do a little, a little … "
Wanyan Xibao gestured "a little" and waited for Si Zhongxian's reply. Si Zhongxian's hand was already trembling as he gripped the warhorse. He was silent for a long time. His voice was hoarse. "What if … I don't do it? You … didn't say this before. You said it well, but now you go back on your word and want a mile after taking an inch. Aren't you afraid that the rest of the world will no longer compromise with you, the Female Zhenren? "
He had obviously mustered up a great deal of courage to say these words. The corners of Wanyan Xibao's mouth gradually turned into a cold smile. His gaze became fierce. He then took a deep breath. "Lord Si, first of all, I, the Female Zhenren, have never relied on negotiations to dominate the world! You are the most special one. Then, Lord Si, you are my elder brother. Tell me, if you were us, what would you do? The land of Shu is a thousand miles of fertile land. After this battle, you will be a feudal lord. Today, we will give these things to you. But tell me, if I, the Great Jin, trust you and give you this land, would it be better, or would it be better to give you this land out of fear of you? "
"Lord Si, my elder brother, these are words from the bottom of my heart. After doing this, the land of Shu will not be a hot potato. Otherwise, of course, we will give it to you. Whether you can get it or not, Lord Si, think about it yourself. The uncles in the army have given you this task because they really love you. They also hope that when you become the King of Shu, you will truly be of one mind with the Great Jin … not to mention you, your twenty thousand brothers are also waiting for you to help them obtain wealth. "
At this point, Wanyan Xibao looked in the direction of the county town and paused slightly. A cool breeze was blowing from there. Si Zhongxian heard him say, "Besides, even if you don't do it, what difference does it make …"
His words were light, but Si Zhongxian's body trembled so much that he almost fell off his horse. After that, he said a few more words indifferently. Wanyan Xibao cupped his hands in obeisance and took his leave. Si Zhongxian did not react, so he did not take it to heart and spurred his horse away with a smile.
At this time, he had already given up the most important sword garret. Although the twenty thousand soldiers under him were elites, in reality, compared to the Jurchen and the Black Flag, there was a considerable gap. Without the key bargaining chip, if the Jurchen did not intend to keep her word, he could only let himself be slaughtered.
After Wanyan Xibao's troops completely disappeared from sight, Si Zhongxian stayed quietly on the hillside for a long time before returning to the army camp. He had a dignified appearance and was not angry. It was difficult for others to see too much emotion on his face. In addition, he had recently changed sides and the situation was complicated, so it was normal for him to look a little haggard. In the afternoon, he met with his father. Si Wenzhong sighed and tried to persuade him.
"… Since things have come to this, what else can a person who wants to achieve great things other than looking forward? Zhongxian, you are the Si family's qilin son. You have protected everyone in the family. Everyone in the family will remember you for generations to come … "
"… Actually, I have been in the Ministry of Rites for many years. I have read some sages' writings and talked about rules and etiquette. But after reading too many books, I realized that in these things, there are only four words: the winner is king and the loser is a bandit …"
"… In the future, when you return Sichuan to the Wu dynasty, the people of the world will thank you …"
Si Zhongxian seemed to have thought it through. He nodded solemnly and bowed to his father. That night, he returned to his room and drank alone. Someone was brought in from outside. It was the Black Flag Envoy, Ji Yuanjing, who had previously represented Ning Yi to negotiate at Swords Gate. He was also a serious-looking man. It seemed that he was a bit wilder than Si Zhongxian. When Si Zhongxian decided to hand over Swords Gate, he drove all the Black Flag Envoys away from the gate.
"The Chinese army is very resourceful."
Si Zhongxian didn't find it strange that Ji Yuanjing could sneak in. He put down a wine cup and poured wine for him. Ji Yuanjing sat down, picked up the wine cup in front of him, and put it to the side. "General Si, it's not too late to rein in the horse before it's too late. You are a person who understands the big picture, so I have come to persuade you."
Si Zhongxian smiled. "I thought Mr. Ji only looked serious and usually had a smile on his face … This is how you really are, right?"
"The Chen family has already agreed to offer the entire Green River to the Female Enlightened Master. All the food will be swept away by the Female Enlightened Master and everyone will be driven to the battlefield. I believe Cang River will have the same fate. We have to mobilize the people to hide in the mountains before the Female Enlightened Master resolutely attacks. On Cang River, if General Si is willing, the number of people who can be saved is uncountable. General Si, you have protected the people here for many years. Are you going to watch as their families are destroyed and their people die? "
Si Zhongxian sat there and was silent for a moment. His eyes moved. "Save them. My family is going to be wiped out."
"General Si indeed has the intention to settle things. It can be seen that the risk I took today was worth it." Hearing Si Zhongxian's words, Ji Yuanjing's gaze became clearer. It was a gaze that saw hope. "As for General Si's family, it is our fault for not being able to save them. The second batch of manpower has already been mobilized. This time, we must be absolutely safe. General Si, the Han nation is about to be destroyed. The Female Enlightened Masters are cruel and cannot be friends. As long as you and I have a common understanding, even if we don't act now, there is no harm. Both sides can make an alliance. As long as the operation in Xiuzhou is successful, General Si will give the Female Enlightened Master a fierce blow from the rear. It is not too late to make a decision now. "
"… I understand the meaning of the Huaxia army's fist." Si Zhongxian revealed a sarcastic smile and drank a cup of wine. "But at this point, how much can the matter be salvaged? Mr. Ji, I have already made a huge mistake by abandoning Sword Gate Pass. I can't make a decision now. Now that I want to settle things, I might even cause my family to die … Why should I bother? "
"If General Si could lead Sword Gate Pass to fight against the Female Enlightened Masters with the Huaxia army, it would of course be an extremely good thing. But since the bad thing has already happened, we should not blame the heavens and blame others. Whatever can be salvaged, it is a little. General Si, for the people of this world — even if it is only for the tens of thousands of people in Blue River, repent and be saved. As long as General Si can think it through at the last moment, the Huaxia army will treat General as one of our own. "
Ji Yuanjing's words were sincere. In fact, having interacted with the Huaxia army many times in the past few years, Si Zhongxian had long understood the other's style of doing things. He knew that the other's words were actually sincere. He sat there for a while, and after a while, "Haha." Then it turned into "Hehe." Finally, it became choked with sobs.
This loss of control of his emotions did not last long. Ji Yuanjing sat quietly and waited for the other's reply. Si Zhongxian lost his composure for a moment, but on the surface he also calmed down. The room was silent for a long time. Si Zhongxian said, "Mr. Ji, I have been thinking hard these days. Do you know why I had to give up Sword Gate Pass? "
Ji Yuanjing considered for a moment. "General Si's family fell into the hands of the golden dogs. It was a last resort. It was also human nature."
"Hehe, it's human nature …" Si Zhongxian repeated and shook his head. "You said it's human nature to comfort me. My father said it's human nature to deceive me. Mr. Ji, I was born in a scholarly family. Confucius said to die for a righteous cause, and Mencius said to take justice. When foreign invaders attacked, I still knew what to choose. I knew too much and thought too clearly. I knew the pros and cons of surrendering to the Jurchens, and I also knew the pros and cons of allying with the Huaxia army. But in the end … I only realized in the end that I was a weak person. I couldn't even bring out the courage to make a decision. "
He quietly poured himself a cup of wine. "If I surrendered to the Huaxia army, my family would die. It is human nature to worry about family. If I surrendered to the Jurchens, everyone in the world would scold me in the future. I would be placed in the history books and cursed for thousands of years on the pillar of shame. This was also something I had already thought of. So, Mr. Ji, in the end, I didn't make this decision on my own because I was … weak and useless! "
Ji Yuanjing frowned. "General Si didn't make the decision on his own. Then who made the decision?"
"Let's not talk about him. I didn't make the decision. Now, I have to bear the regret. Mr. Ji, after betraying you, the Jurchens promised that I would become the King of Shu. I would become a big shot who could shake the whole world with a stomp of my feet. But I finally saw clearly that to reach this level, I must have the courage to see through human nature. If I resist the golden men, my family will die. Even so, I can only choose to resist. In the face of the world, I must have this kind of courage. "He drank the wine." I don't have this kind of courage. "
"… This is a little extreme." Ji Yuanjing was a little hesitant.
"I didn't choose to resist the golden men at Swords Gate. Swords Gate was lost. Today, I resisted the golden men and my family died. I will be a joke again. No matter what, I will be a joke … Mr. Ji, when you go back, can you bring a message for me to Mr. Ning?"
"…" Ji Yuanjing was silent for a moment, then nodded solemnly.
Si Zhongxian laughed. "Tell him for me that he deserved to kill the emperor. He dared to kill the emperor. That's amazing! "
"General Si …"
Glass after glass of wine, Si Zhongxian's expression was occasionally cold and blank. He looked out of the window. In the dark night, tears slid down his face. "I'm just a coward who doesn't even dare to make a decision at a crucial time. But … but why? Mr. Ji, this world … is too difficult. Why is there such a world that people can only be considered a good person if they have to calmly face the death of their family … This world … "
He was extremely depressed. He slammed his fist on the table and spat out wine. After venting, Si Zhongxian was quiet for a while. Then, he raised his head. "Mr. Ji, do what you should do. I … I'm just a coward."
"General Si, knowing shame is almost the same as courage. In many things, as long as you know the problem, you can change. You care about your family. Even in the future history books, you might be given a …"
"Guards, send him out!" Si Zhongxian shouted, and his personal guards came in. Ji Yuanjing still wanted to say something, but Si Zhongxian waved his hand, "Safe place! Send him out! "
Ji Yuanjing knew that this negotiation had failed.
He turned around and left. There was still some hope in his heart. Si Zhongxian's emotions were obviously chaotic tonight. However, there was already regret in his heart. If this war continued, he would be instigated to defect sooner or later. A troop of more than 20,000 people could still play a significant role at a crucial time.
He could only pin his hopes on the next meeting.
The stars and moon were sparse. After leaving the military camp, he looked at the nearby Blue River County. It was a peaceful and quiet night.
That night, Si Zhongxian finished sharpening his sharp blade. He slit his own throat in his room and committed suicide.
At this point, he had no choice but to go forward or backward. If he surrendered to the Chinese army and lost his family, he would be a joke. If he cooperated with the Jurchen and sent all the nearby residents to the battlefield, he would also be at a loss. If he killed himself, he would no longer have to bear responsibility for Blue River County. He would no longer have to endure the torment of his heart. And his family would no longer have any value. They could finally live.
When this news reached the Jurchen camp, Wanyan Zonghan nodded. "Yes, he's a man … find someone to replace him."
"… Then Si Zhongxian." The deputy general was somewhat hesitant.
Zonghan thought for a moment. "In my name, write a letter of condolence. Say that General Si was assassinated by the Black Flag bandits. The Jurchen people will destroy the Black Flag to avenge General Si. In addition … "
"Erect a good tombstone and bury General Si."
"Yes."
Walking through history, not many people would care about the mental journey of a loser.
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