After a busy New Year's Eve, the intermittent snow finally stopped. In theory, it should be spring soon. When he walked through the streets, the sky was still lead green. Between the courtyard walls on both sides, only a few plum blossoms were bright.
When he came to the courtyard where Yunzhu and Jin 'er lived, he usually did not take a carriage. Today, he wanted to walk around even more. He recalled the confusion in his heart, and the things he did after coming to the capital, or even before that. In the blink of an eye, he had been here for three years. Thinking back to his mentality when he first arrived, he had now adapted to the vermilion gate, deep courtyard, bright tiles and green walls. What he saw in the day, what he thought at night, would pile up in his heart, giving him a sense of being in a certain place, and then more trivial things would come to him, filling up every gap that he could feel.
Many things happened in the past three years, and he did not know whether this was a good start or not. He wasn't a sentimental person to begin with, and he didn't have too many moods. Pressing down on the problem and solving it was a very simple method. Even if he encountered something difficult to solve, he could always figure out a clue from his heart.
The child who was chasing after him ran past him.
Yunzhu's letter was placed in his sleeve, and it was slightly hot. After the thunderstorm half a year ago, Yunzhu and he had a relationship. When she wanted to leave, she did it secretly, but this time was different. Ning Yi could understand the difference. In the morning, he thought about it for a while, and then he walked like this. When he reached the door of the small courtyard, he raised his hand and knocked on the door. After a moment of hesitation, he finally knocked on the door.
The person who opened the door was Jin 'er. She looked at him with a sullen face, and her hand was holding the door latch. The two people stared at each other for a while, and Ning Yi nodded and said, "I know, I will go in first, if you have anything to say, we can talk later, okay?" Only then did Jin 'er threw away the door latch, turned around and walked in front.
When he passed the courtyard, the wintersweet on one side of the courtyard was still blooming, and there was a small pile of snowmen outside the corridor in front. Ning Yi asked Yunzhu, and at this time she was cooking in the kitchen. Along the way, Jin 'er was angry for a while, and wanted to kick him, but Ning Yi avoided it.
The sound of cooking came from the kitchen at the back of the courtyard. Ning Yi stopped by the door, took a breath, and went in. Compared to the small building by the Qinhuai River in Jiangning, the kitchen in this courtyard was not small. Yunzhu stood by the stove in a plain white dress. Her hair was tied up at the back of her head and she wore two simple beaded hairpins. The kitchen was filled with the aroma of food and the smell of blood. There were all kinds of seasonings on the chopping board and a bowl filled with chicken blood. At this moment, the kitchen staff had been sent away. Everything here must have been done by Yunzhu alone.
Ning Yi looked for a while, and walked from the back. Yunzhu tilted her head, and after seeing him, a smile appeared at the corner of her mouth. Walking behind Yunzhu, Ning Yi reached out and hugged her. Their cheeks were pressed together, and Yunzhu closed her eyes.
"I received the letter you wrote …"
"Yes."
"You want to go to Xuanzhou."
The food was still cooking in the kitchen, and the tone of the two was a little soft. After Ning Yi let go of her, he smiled slightly, squatted to the side, and threw a firewood into the stove, "If I say … I don't allow you to go, what will you do?"
Yunzhu squatted down, folded her hands on her legs, and looked at the fire in the stove. She smiled and leaned towards Ning Yi, and said softly, "Then I won't go. You are my man, and whatever you say, Yunzhu will do … But Yunzhu's Langjun is not such a domineering person."
"You are the first person to say that about me." Ning Yi shook his head. When Yunzhu got up and fiddled with the spatula, he was silent for a moment, "You know, if you really just want to go to my parents' hometown, I will definitely agree, but this time is different, isn't it … I gave you a lot of pressure …"
Yunzhu was silent for a moment, but also shook her head. Ning Yi rubbed his forehead, and Yunzhu trotted to the side to bring a small stool for him to sit down. After recovering from the illness, she got rid of the weakness of a few months, and as before, she showed a soft and clean temperament. The kitchen was quiet. Ning Yi sat there to light the fire, and Yunzhu went back and forth to cut and cook vegetables. The main ingredient was a chicken, and she made several dishes. In fact, there was a lot of tacit understanding between Ning Yi and Yunzhu. Only this time, she made a little trouble for Ning Yi.
It was like a small family in the past, and not long after, the dishes were cooked. Ning Yi and Yunzhu carried the dishes to the living room and ate lunch with Jin Er. The dishes were exquisite, but Ning Yi and Jin Er did not have much appetite. After the meal, Yunzhu went upstairs to make tea for Ning Yi, and she took out the storybook that had not been finished a few days ago for Ning Yi to read. The room on the second floor was warm. When Ning Yi was halfway through reading, Yunzhu was already lying on his lap and seemed to be falling asleep, but Jin Er did not come in. He did not know if she was eavesdropping on the door outside.
"We had chicken for lunch today …" When Ning Yi was halfway through reading, he was thirsty and stopped to drink tea. Yunzhu, who was lying on his lap, smiled and said softly. Ning Yi put down the book and waited for her to speak.
"Liheng … We've known each other for almost three years. Do you remember the first time we met, I was killing that hen …" Her tone was soft. "Yunzhu felt that the best thing in her life was that time when she pulled Liheng into the river with her."
"Yes, I saved you, and you slapped me in the face." Ning Yi reached out to stroke the hair on her head and pulled out the pearl hairpin. Yunzhu closed her eyes and lay down like a cat.
"Yunzhu is yours. You can take revenge in any way you want." She put her cheek on Ning Yi's lap and shook it with a smile. "Later … a lot of things happened … that cake stall, century eggs, Takeshi, I learned how to kill chickens, learned how to cook … You ran over from the river every morning. Do you know what I look forward to most every day is for you to run over from there and sit for a while and talk to me …"
"What happened after that?" Ning Yi frowned and pulled her over. He asked directly, "Why did you leave this time?"
"After that." Yunzhu shrank in his arms and was silent for a moment. "After that … Liheng gave himself too much pressure."
"Pressure …" Ning Yi frowned and then shook his head. "I've solved a lot of things, Yunzhu. Actually, it's nothing. I can handle it. Of course, there will be pressure, but it's nothing at all. A man should be tough on himself … "
"That's why I find it strange too. My man is a weirdo." Yunzhu smiled softly. She took a breath and said softly, "Liheng, Liangshan is nothing in front of you, and national affairs are nothing in front of you. But you're troubled by a few women. This is the strangest thing about you. You value the people around you more than national affairs. I'm actually very happy, but it's also because of this that I want to go out and relax … "
"I'm not troubled because of you!" Ning Yi was a little distressed. After denying it, he weighed his words. "Actually … it's not like that. To put it simply, I don't think I'm good enough to you …"
"Not good enough?"
"It's not the same thing."
"But it's good enough. These few months, you accompanied me to see a doctor, accompanied me to relax, came over to chat with me, read with me, and worried about me all day …"
"So you feel that I've given you pressure because you've delayed my matters."
"I didn't." Yunzhu hugged his hand and looked up at him. She shook her head gently. "Liheng, you've given yourself pressure. Can you listen to me?"
She smiled. "Yunzhu, in this life, there are good things and bad things. If I want to talk about the good thing, I met a man who is worth trusting. If I want to talk about the bad thing, I can't escape from those years in the brothel … Liheng, I used to be the daughter of a government official. In the brothel, they said that I'm ambitious. After I came out of the brothel, they also said that I have high standards. But I'm not ambitious, especially after I've been with you, Yunzhu … I can do whatever I want. I can be good for the rest of my life, or bad for the rest of my life. But I also know that you'll never let me down … "
"I want to stay by your side. I don't want to go anywhere … I'm satisfied to be your concubine or a woman you keep outside. Liheng … women are very strange. Maybe it's just me. I'm just worried that one day, you really don't want me anymore. If I really become your burden, I won't be able to live anymore. Thinking about it like this, I'll get sick … "
"But as long as I'm still of some use, whether it's this body, singing to you, chatting with you to relieve your boredom, or even if you're really unhappy outside, you can come back and throw a tantrum like the other men at home and beat me up. Then, you'll be happy, and I'll be happy too … Liheng, I've never told you about these before. I'm afraid you'll think that I'm strange."
"When I was in the brothel, I also thought that one day, I'll be like others. I'll get married and become someone's concubine. Maybe I'll meet a man who's more than ten years old. When he likes you, he'll spoil you, but when he's unhappy, he'll beat you up. At that time, I was so scared … But then, I thought of Liheng. Sometimes, I imagine that one day, when you're unhappy outside, I'll try my best to make you happy. When you get angry, you'll even beat me up. Maybe you'll even beat me up so hard that my head bleeds. Then, your anger will disappear. When I think of this, my heart actually feels happy. Then … Yes … I miss you … "
As she spoke of this, she was slightly embarrassed. A faint blush appeared on her face, and her voice became even softer. "Although I know that you, Liheng, would never do such a thing to me, I actually want to do it for you. Women are just like that … "
Ning Yi lowered his head and frowned slightly. He sighed softly. "After all, feelings are between two people. If you can be like this, of course I have to treat you better. It's normal for me to feel pressure."
"But I don't want it to be like this …"
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