Sunlight shone down on the main hall. A sumptuous breakfast had long since been placed on the long table. In the empty main hall, there was only a "couple" who were currently having a meal together.
In order to curry favor with the major noble Carolyn, the Domain Lord Samuel directly gave up his luxurious manor to her. He and his family were temporarily living in it, which made it much more convenient for us.
"Black tea."
"Yep, yep, here."
"Butter bread over there, thank you."
"No need to thank me, Big Sister. Come, open your mouth, ah … let Carolyn feed you."
By the time I finished interrogating Rex, it was already time for breakfast. Just as I walked downstairs to the main hall, I saw two green-haired ladies feeding each other.
I found a random chair and sat down. I rang the bell to summon a waiter, ordered some food, and poured myself some wine. Just as I was about to enjoy the delicious food that I had been busy with for an entire night, I raised my glass, only to discover that wine was leaking out of my chin … Fine then, the waiter's expression of wanting to laugh yet not daring to do so was quite displeasing.
"Come, Big Sister, let's have some lipstick."
Their intimate feeding once again escalated. Carolyn's red lips moved closer to her other red lips with a mouthful of lipstick in her mouth. When the tips of their tongues met, silver saliva dripped down and transformed into broken silver threads. Carolyn's demonic hands were already reaching under the table. The plot seemed to be progressing towards the 18th century.
"Ah …"
Even though Carolyn had taken the initiative to attack, she ended up kissing Carolyn to the point of suffocation. Her naughty hands were still messing around. Half a minute later, Carolyn collapsed on the table with a completely red face. Her swan-white skin was covered in strawberries, and there were still unbroken silver threads between her silver teeth and red lips that had fallen onto the table.
Meanwhile, the victorious Lilith glanced at me in delight. She then used her fork to pick up a small tomato and bit into half of it. She then stuffed the rest into the mouth of her new "captive", completing a new round of feeding.
"… Although the FFF faction's motto is that only those of the same sex should be cherished, and those of the opposite sex should only be used for reproduction, why is it that the raging flames in my chest have transformed into flames in my hands as I look at this pair? In my shadows, countless black-robed individuals are shouting in my ears, 'Burn, burn, burn!' "
“OUCH！”
Just as I was about to turn my impulse into action, the pain in my finger bones called my attention back to me. As expected, the silly cat was lying on the ground. She had retracted her enchanted teeth and was currently enjoying the breakfast that I had just ordered!
"Silly cat! What are you doing? "
"… Don't act like a little virgin who hasn't tasted meat before. It's really ugly, you know? Alright, I'll correct myself. Alright, even if you're a three-hundred-year-old virgin, don't make it so obvious. It's really embarrassing. "
How could the silly cat possibly understand our FFF group's anger? Just as I was glaring at her with raging flames, the silly cat transformed into a mature golden-haired mature lady. She stretched lazily like a cat and even dared to give me a flirtatious look.
"Do you want me to teach you? Although I usually prefer pure girls, Princess Peach should be even more delicious. "
Her golden hair cascaded down to the ground like a waterfall, and her phoenix-like eyes were filled with intoxication. Her voluptuous figure was obvious as she stretched. Even though she was intentionally showing off her flirtatiousness, she was as elegant as a sage who was reading an ancient scroll. As expected of the golden elves, who were known as the most beautiful species.
At this moment, she was both flirtatious and elegant. Even the two women at the other end of the table were shaken by her charm. Alright then, it seemed that these two women's sexual orientations had already changed.
As for me? My heart? Heh heh, silly cat! I've already said that whoever mentions Princess Peach again will be in for a hard time! I told you before that you weren't allowed to become taller than me. I covered my "Wu Yan X" head and angrily roared, "You're suicidal!"
"… Wait a moment, you can't do that. Even if you don't understand flirtatiousness, you shouldn't …"
I already knew what was about to happen from our soul contract, but I was unable to finish my sentence. After a series of distortions, only a pink mace remained where I was.
"Yep, from today onwards, you're the Legend-ranked divine weapon, Pink Rabbit Jam. Make my enemies suffer the humiliation of being killed by a Pink Rabbit Jam."
"You perverted homo …"
…
From a certain standpoint, lich Rex was a classic example of a bookworm. Although he wasn't as natural as Marguerite, who had transformed his soul casket into a soul bottle and placed it in the middle of his room, he was still quite the weirdo to carry his phylactery around with him.
"… My body must be in the same dimension as my phylactery. I've only been in this dimension for less than half a month, and I haven't had the time to find a safe place to store my phylactery. I originally intended to find one during this trip …"
"Oh, so that's why you transformed into Wu Yan X's head."
"It's Gul 'dan … Rex's head! No, wait, what do you mean by 'head'? This is my head! I'm quite creative with this idea, and it's quite discreet. Nobody would expect that a phylactery would be made into a skull. I can find a random grave and bury my head inside, then put on the head of the grave's owner. It's just a different head, and it'll be done in ten minutes. "
"You definitely haven't been to the mortal plane for a very long time, right? Or, you didn't even become a lich in this plane. "
I looked at him with pity. If he really did that, it would probably become a tragedy, and a comedy in other people's eyes.
"Hmm? Milord, what do you mean? I indeed became a lich in the Ice Plane. Is this idea not discreet enough? "
"If it was a hundred and sixty years ago, if you could tolerate the smell of corpses, this would indeed be a good idea. However, ever since the legendary novel 'Grave Robber's Dagger' became a huge hit, the main character relied on grave robbing to become a legend, and he eventually became the richest man in a country. Grave robbing attracted countless participants, and even the rules and factions of the profession were established. And after someone really dug out an ancient God Equipment, many powerful individuals would shamelessly join this profession. A certain bad Legend-ranked mage who was obsessed with this profession even invented the technique of detecting underground magical items. Many poor and insane mages would even take this part-time job … "
The soulfire of Rex's head on my waist kept flickering. I seemed to have guessed what would happen if I really did that.
"… A lich's phylactery is a rare item that has a price but no supply. In the light of this magic, it's equivalent to a Legend-ranked item. In that case, in at most half a month, your head will be dug out, and it will either be sold as an unknown mystical item, or sent to the Holy Church as a cursed item to be purified. In that case, congratulations, the stupidest and funniest lich in history has been born. "
Rex's head remained silent, but the flickering soulfire doubtlessly indicated his fear. My mood also improved greatly, and my depression from being teased was completely gone. As expected, when I was in a bad mood, I had to make others feel even worse. Seeing someone else's bitter expression would improve my own mood.
But although I was teasing him like this, there was no one else around me.
Should I say that I didn't intend to? Although this all happened too suddenly, my plan still proceeded smoothly. The Bardi Emperor's imperial envoy had already been kidnapped by us, and since no human would be willing to stay in the same house as the undead at night, our sneak attack with only a few of us went smoothly and discreetly. No outsider found out about it.
Lich Rex only had a Death Knight and a high-level Abomination as his bodyguards. The rest were all temporarily summoned low-level undead. The Death Knight first suffered a painful defeat that night, and then had a fierce clash with the "black-haired female ranger" at the very front during the sneak attack.
The result? Cohen and Yawen spent half an hour to put together the scattered parts of the Death Knight, but he still managed to change job class to the "Headless Knight" … Fragment.
Little Red's punch even partially transformed into the shape of a dragon, and her punch carried a dragon's roar. It was obvious that she didn't intend to hold back at all. And then, the Death Knight was undoubtedly smashed to smithereens. Even fighting back would be quite difficult.
In my eyes, this only meant that Little Red had accumulated a lot of pressure after being chased for an entire night. (Are you sure it wasn't because of your dark history?). Still, that unlucky Death Knight didn't die an unjust death since he was able to fight against an Immemorial Dragon.
As for that Abomination … Due to the fact that the Duchess Duchess highly disliked the corpse monster's foul smell and appearance, it was left outside the domain lord's mansion to guard. When it finally received its master's orders and finally returned, it just so happened that Little Red, who hadn't gotten used to fighting yet, conveniently dismantled it. That small dragon breath even took away a stable.
As for Carolyn's human bodyguards, things were even simpler. According to our standards, a middle-aged Knight who was barely at the Gold rank would look rather pitiful. He and his rookie bodyguards didn't even notice that everything was over by the time they started their daily morning exercises.
But this wasn't the Underground where Legends could be found everywhere. In an ordinary human country, it would be quite impressive for a noble's eldest daughter to have a Gold-ranked "master" as her bodyguard. Not to mention, Carolyn had only been temporarily assigned here for this mission.
As for safety? Even the captain of the top-ranked mercenary group in the Lagraz Kingdom was only at the Gold rank. Without even mentioning the fact that a Gold-ranked Knight Captain and a few Silver-ranked mercenaries would be more than enough to sweep through the relatively safe Bardi Empire, when I learned that Carolyn's temporary guards only had a purely employer-employee relationship with her, I decisively had Carolyn dismiss them.
It just so happened that the Grand Knight Captain drank a few more glasses under the enthusiastic encouragement of the local nobles yesterday. When he saw that the Duke's daughter seemed to have grown a little taller today, he thought that his eyes were playing tricks on him.
Perhaps it was because the alcohol content of yesterday's event was a little high. When he received three months' worth of salary, he smiled like a middle-aged man who had just received his year-end bonus. He was so happy that he could not help but express his gratitude.
What happened after that was much simpler. Although there were some differences from the original plan (for example, the speed and degree of a certain Duke's daughter's surrender), fine, I must admit that thanks to a certain female vampire's outstanding "persuasion skills" and the efforts of the kidnappers, our plan succeeded even more smoothly than expected.
But no matter how obedient and strange Carolyn appeared to be, I still couldn't trust her. How could the eldest daughter of a Duke submit so easily? If she reported us to the government or asked the domain lord for help, we would be in deep trouble.
Thus, we continued with our original plan. Lilith would disguise herself as Carolyn, although she now had a maid who looked similar to her. I would continue to disguise myself as the Lich Rex. With the help of the Lich's Skull on my waist, I should be able to pass off the fake as the real one. In order to make it even more realistic, I even summoned my own Knight Guard and Abomination.
"Father, Ah Dang wants to eat meat!"
"Endure it! Right, you can fill up the minced meat of the Abomination at the entrance, but don't let anyone see you eating it. "
From a certain standpoint, that Beast Tamer who "carried many acres of farmland with him" gave me inspiration. If even his Soul World could contain people, then it might not be impossible for my Frigidwinter Earth to do the same. But after testing it out, due to the eternal rule of winter, normal resources would be easily damaged. It was probably because no life would be able to survive in that lifeless world of ice and snow.
But if living beings couldn't do it, then the dead shouldn't be a problem.
And so, after my experiment was a complete success, I placed quite a few low-level undead cannon fodder inside. However, it would be a bit of a waste to only bring cannon fodder with such a powerful ability. Considering that I might meet with some trouble during this trip, I decided to capture some high-level undead that could be of use.
Thus, I borrowed Ah Dang from Xiluo. In the end, I even received an unsolicited gift.
"Your Majesty, this armor is all sewn together, and it was glued together. How can I wear it?"
Just like other top-tier Undead, the Ghoul King Decars spends most of his time in his human form. With sufficient Power of Death, he could easily disguise himself as a normal Death Knight with the Death Knight armor.
But the problem now was that Little Red was too ruthless. It took a lot of time to piece the armor back together, so it was obvious that it couldn't be worn anymore.
"Find a blacksmith to mend it yourself, or just use a paper clip to make do with it. You don't even know how much effort Little Cohen had to put in to gather all the broken pieces, so stop complaining. Also, you were the one complaining about the boredom inside and wanted to come out for some fresh air. If you continue complaining, I will throw you back and replace you with someone else. "
Hearing that, Decars, who was known as the Mad Dog of the Battlefield, shuddered. He wasn't worried about the low temperature in that world of ice and snow, nor was it because he was bored and wanted to come out for some fresh air. That was just an excuse.
"Actually, I wasn't bored at all. Comprehending the rules of that world benefited me greatly. It was just that Gria was too bored inside, so when she started singing …"
Alright, I almost shed tears of sympathy. Considering that if I were to replace her with someone else, she might just start singing happily the moment she came out. Then, it would be our turn to be unlucky.
I was also speechless. Back then, I only wanted Ah Dang, but in the end, I ended up with the other two Four Heavenly Kings. Looks like they really have nothing better to do. (Lionheart: Pushing all the work to me, how can I not hate it?)
Of course, it wasn't enough for a group to only have Undead. Very soon, we would 'coincidentally' meet a group of foreign merchants outside the city. Then, after a freak combination of factors, we would end up with new guards and attendants. Also, the merchants would be recognized by the nobles of the city and with the help of a certain feudal lord, they would obtain a pass to return to their homeland.
The rest was even simpler. We just had to follow the plan and then, at a certain divergence point, 'Carolyn's' nature for sightseeing would be unleashed. Under the guidance of the Lich 'Rex', we would head to Victoria Harbor to look at the sea.
Of course, these arrangements wouldn't be flawless, but it would be enough as long as we could deal with the current situation. By the time everything was exposed, we would have long since escaped. Or, before we finally met an obstacle that we couldn't continue on, we would travel as far as we could.
When we walked out of the domain lord's mansion that had just been robbed and headed to the next noble's territory, I almost couldn't help but laugh out loud when I saw Samuel, who had been furious just yesterday, politely bidding farewell to Lilith. There was even a knife wound left by a chicken bone on his neck. Samuel's neck was still visible, and I almost laughed out loud.
"Gul 'dan … Rex, perhaps there are even funnier ways to die in this world than yours."
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