The moonlight shone on the snowy ground. In the flowing light and shadow, the two of them stood facing each other.
There was no need to hide.
He Yan's gaze fell on the Autumn Drinking Sword in her hand. At this moment, she realized how heavy the sword was. It was so heavy that she almost couldn't hold it anymore.
"When did you find out?" She asked softly.
"I found He Wanru's wet nurse," Xiao Jue replied.
He Yan suddenly looked up at him.
His expression was as calm as ever, as if what he said was just a trivial matter. Thousands of complex emotions surged in her heart. Bitterness, panic, nervousness, and finally, they all turned into a sigh of relief.
"I'm sorry," He Yan tried to make herself look more relaxed, "I didn't mean to lie to you."
But why did she lie? Even she couldn't come up with an acceptable reason.
Xiao Jue bent down to pick up the broken sword on the ground. The sword in his hand had been cut in two by He Yan's Autumn Drinking Sword.
He Yan quietly watched his movements. When he bent down and stood up, he said, "You already know everything?"
"More or less." Xiao Jue's gaze was calm, "You are Xu Zhiheng's deceased wife, and He Rufei who wears a mask."
When the words "deceased wife" came out of his mouth, He Yan's heart shook violently. It was as if the secret that she didn't want to be discovered had been exposed. For no reason, she looked a little embarrassed. She had been brave all her life and never feared facing thousands of troops on the battlefield. Only when she faced this person in front of her did she have the thought of retreating.
But she couldn't run away. Since she had been discovered, she had to face it. No matter if it was a past full of conspiracies and schemes, or a future with no path ahead.
"That's right," He Yan said, "I am He Yan, and He Rufei, your classmate."
Xiao Jue's eyes moved slightly. After a moment, he asked, "How did you become the daughter of the military officer at the city gate?"
"If you've already found Mother Qin, you should already know how I died." He Yan smiled bitterly and looked at the icicles hanging from the trees not far away. The icicles were like teardrops, hanging from the branches. "After I died, when I woke up again, I was already 'He Yan' now."
"Maybe God took pity on me and gave me another chance." He Yan shrugged. "Even if I told you about the supernatural, no one would believe me. Maybe someone would even think that I was talking nonsense. However, since you've already found me, I think you already believe this matter. "
"Why did you exchange identities with He Rufei?"
He Yan was startled. His eyes, which had always been bright, seemed to be covered by a layer of mist at this moment, giving birth to a bit of confusion.
"Xiao Jue, no one can decide their own fate at birth. It's the same for me. When I could remember, I was already 'He Rufei'. " She slowly said, "I only knew that my eldest brother wouldn't live for long. If I didn't become 'He Rufei', the title of nobility of the He Family would be taken away. Therefore, I had to live in the name of 'He Rufei' and live like this for the rest of my life."
"However, at that time, I was too young and didn't want to succumb to this kind of fate. Therefore, I left the He Family and joined the Fuyue Army. I earned military merits and received a reward. I also didn't expect that my eldest brother, who was destined to die young, didn't die and was even safe and healthy. Therefore, when I returned to the capital, everything went back to its original place. He became He Rufei and I became He Yan. This was good. "
There was nothing bad about this. Although she felt a bit wronged at that time, this was already the best ending she could think of. Whether it was He Rufei or He Yan, both of them would be able to escape unscathed.
He Yan slightly raised her head, as if she was trying to force back the tears. She smiled and said, "He Rufei is the famous General Feihong. Second Miss He is just a sickly person with poor health. When she reached the age, she could use He Rufei's name to find a good marriage for herself. Originally, this matter would have ended at this point."
"It's just that they were afraid that I would reveal some clues and implicate the entire He Family, so they didn't trust me. Therefore, after this, they took my life." He Yan laughed self-deprecatingly, "This should be a punishment from the heavens for me."
Those who rebelled against fate would eventually be wiped out by fate. If she had obediently stayed in the He Family as "He Rufei" back then and didn't go to the battlefield, didn't strive for military achievements, and didn't become General Feihong, perhaps when the time came, she and He Rufei would return to their positions and wouldn't have lost their lives.
But …
If someone asked if she could turn back time and if she had the chance to choose again, would she still leave the He Family? He Yan thought that she probably would. It was because she had embarked on a path that was completely different from the predetermined fate that she realized that the vastness of the world, the scenery, and the scenery were completely different from those hidden in the four residences.
"Your eyes …"
"It was the He Family who blinded me." He Yan interrupted him, "But they probably didn't expect that I could live well without my eyes. This is all thanks to you." She smiled slightly, "I will remember what you said to me that day at Yu Hua Temple. Even if I become a blind person, I want to be the one who is the most different among the blind people. "
Xiao Jue's breathing deepened slightly.
What he said was also hurting He Yan. If He Yan had become a blind person, after he no longer posed a threat to the He Family, he might have been able to save his life. It was because she didn't accept her fate that the He Family became uneasy again and took her life away.
"Xiao Jue, please don't blame yourself." He Yan seemed to have seen through her thoughts, "I don't regret my choice at that time. If I didn't meet you, I wouldn't even have the courage to live. As early as the mid-autumn night at Yu Hua Temple, there should be no 'He Yan' in this world. "
Fate was cruel, but it was also mysterious. Every seemingly careless choice would lead to unpredictable results. Now that she had become He Sui's daughter, she was no longer blind. Old friends appeared in front of her one by one. She couldn't tell if she felt more regretful or more fortunate.
"I am He Yan, and I am also He Rufei." She smiled slightly, "When I first woke up, I accidentally stumbled into the recruit camp of the Liang Province Guards. When I told you that I wanted to make a name for myself, I wasn't lying. Because only by standing at the same height as He Rufei can I expose his lies. My life alone is not important, but because of me, He Rufei caused the deaths of many innocent people. This is unforgivable. What he owes me, I will take it back myself. "
"Now that I have become Marquis Wu An, I have the ability to fight against him. What I am going to do next is also these things. I'm sorry, Xiao Jue, I didn't mean to lie to you. It's just that there are some things that are too ridiculous to say. Maybe it's because I'm too timid and don't know how to face you. "
"You've been lying to me," he said.
He Yan's fingers curled up slightly, and he took a deep breath, "I'm sorry."
"Are you also lying to me about liking me?" he asked.
He Yan suddenly raised his head. He stood in the wind, his posture tall and straight, just like in the past. Yet, he also seemed to have returned to the beginning, a distance that could never be touched.
"No."
Xiao Jue looked at him indifferently.
"I didn't lie to you." He Yan paused, swallowed the sourness in his throat, and then continued, "When I was He Rufei in the Xianchang Dojo, you took care of me a lot. You helped me apply medicine, and taught me swordsmanship. In this life, when I was He Yan, you always protected me. "
"You always appeared when I was in danger. Xiao Jue, I used to like you, and now, I like you even more."
Some things, once said, were said, it was as if all of his worries were gone. He Yan knew very well that Xiao Jue was someone who hated betrayals and lies. This was related to the Xiao family's accident. Thus, when he found out that she was pretending to be a man in the Liang Province Guards, he was also this sensitive. And now, an even bigger secret had been exposed. To Xiao Jue, from the moment they met, it had been a complete lie.
She had no right to ask for Xiao Jue's forgiveness.
"I'm not the real Lady He." She took a deep breath, and revealed a fake relaxed smile, "I really didn't want to drag you into this. Originally, I just wanted to make a name for myself in the Liang Province Guards, and be your right-hand man. I didn't think that things would come to this between you and me. His Majesty bestowed a marriage upon the two of us, and I can't go against it, but … but … "She looked at Xiao Jue," You don't have to take this marriage to heart. Just treat it as a partnership. If you find a girl you like in the future, I will tell her that you and I are just putting on a show. When the time comes, you can cancel the marriage or divorce me. It doesn't matter. "
Xiao Jue's eyes suddenly turned cold, and she slowly asked, "Divorce you?"
He Yan pretended to be indifferent and sighed, "Actually, marriage doesn't mean anything, really. Don't look at how happy Yan Nanguang is and think that there are many benefits to marriage. I've been married before, and if we talk about it, I was happier before I got married. Perhaps I am more suitable to be alone. Two marriages are not good enough. "She joked," Wait until you divorce me, and I have settled all the debt of gratitude and enmity. Then one man, one horse, I will roam the Jianghu. It's better than living the life of an ordinary woman in this courtyard house, not very good. It's just a pity for you. "She seemed to be genuinely worried for Xiao Jue," Everything was fine, but I've blocked your marriage for no reason. "
Xiao Jue coldly said, "He Yan."
"Don't look so angry." He Yan laughed, "The one who should be sad is me. It wasn't easy to deceive a marriage, but now it's been exposed. Fortunately, I'm a very broad-minded person, and I'm always open-minded about everything. After today, you and I will be ordinary schoolmates. Xiao Jue, "she said seriously, pausing between each word," Thank you, no matter if it was in the past or now. "
Her smile was relaxed, and she looked like she didn't care at all, like a heartless youth in the Liang Province Guards. However, only He Yan knew that when she said these words, every word was like a knife cutting into her heart.
She liked this person so much, and had experienced so much with this person. Xiao Jue had given her warmth and treasures that she had never experienced before. She thought that she had caught the moon, but in reality, she had only caught the reflection of the moon under the water. Now that she had woken up from her dream, she should return to her own path.
Greed was a taboo in a relationship. If she didn't have that bit of greed, perhaps she wouldn't have been so sad when they parted.
He Yan raised a big smile, thought for a moment, and reached out to Xiao Jue. "Here, this is your Autumn Wine, and now it's returned to its rightful owner."
The youth didn't move, and his beautiful eyes focused on her, surging with an emotion that He Yan couldn't understand. In the next moment, he strode forward, and He Yan handed the Autumn Wine back to him.
He didn't take the sword.
That hand grabbed He Yan's arm, and with a gentle tug, pulled her into an embrace.
He Yan was shocked. Under the seemingly cold black robe, there was an incomparably warm embrace. Just like the most valiant general, he had the softest heart.
"Xiao Jue, you …"
He Yan leaned into his embrace, and could hear the other person's clear and powerful heartbeat. It was more intense than any other heartbeat, as if it was a declaration of the youth's unknown feelings. She raised her head, and saw Xiao Jue's chin. He Yan's hand was supporting He Yan's waist, and he pressed her head against his chest, as if he was comforting her, but also as if he was afraid that she would escape from his imprisonment.
"I'm sorry."
"What?"
The youth's voice was restrained, hoarse and deep. "I didn't recognize you at first sight."
In an instant, He Yan's eyes were wet.
For a long time, it was as if she had walked alone in the dark for a long time. No one had discovered her existence, and no one cared about her sadness or joy. No one apologized, and no one cheered. Happiness or sadness, beginning or ending, it was all her story.
Until one day, someone discovered her.
The only person in the world was her light, the source of all her brilliance.
"Hey," she wanted to lighten the atmosphere, "Xiao Huaijin, I can't bear to see you like this."
He hugged He Yan even tighter, and whispered in her ear, "I missed you twice."
"This time, I won't miss you again."
He Yan was stunned.
She broke free from Xiao Jue's embrace, and looked at him in surprise. "I'm not Lady He, I'm He Yan."
"I know."
"I've lied to you, from your previous life until now."
"I know."
"I've already been married." She seemed to find it hard to say. "Xiao Jue, even if that's the case, are you still the same as before?"
She didn't think that people who had been married were inferior. There were so many women in the world who had divorced, and those who had been abandoned were no worse than others. It was just that they were unlucky, or they had no choice but to choose the wrong marriage. It didn't prevent them from obtaining happiness.
But it turned out that when people met the person they really liked, even if it was a fairy, they would secretly worry about whether they matched the other party. Happiness made people timid, and timidity made people feel inferior. Moreover … she had received too little love, and even the affirmation was very little.
Under the night sky, the youth's eyes were like limpid autumn water, and all the coldness and ridicule had faded away. It was unbelievably warm.
Xiao Jue smiled. "Why are you so unconfident? Even if you've been married, in my eyes, you're just a girl."
He leaned over slightly, looking into her eyes.
"So what if I'm General Feihong? I'm only here for He Yan."
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