"When you know who you are, you are not you. When you don't know who you are … you are you." The murmurs echoed in Su Ming's ears and lingered in his mind. When the words turned into a thunderous roar that rumbled in his heart, Su Ming's eyes flew open.
Sweat had appeared on his forehead at some unknown point of time. The sky outside was silver, and it was the result of snow falling from the sky. The land wrapped in silver was a reflection of the night sky that did not belong to the darkness.
Su Ming sat in a naturally formed stone cave in a crack in a mountain. It was the third month since he had charged to Seven Moons Sect. In the seemingly boundless land, Su Ming sat down to meditate and regulate his breathing.
This place was incredibly far away from Seven Moons Sect. Even if Su Ming was in the first level of Dao Divinity Realm, he would still need several years to travel such a long distance.
That was why he did not charge forward without stopping. Instead, he would occasionally rest to ensure that his level of cultivation was at its peak. At that moment, he opened his eyes.
He stared at the night sky outside in silence and remembered the dream he had previously. He rarely dreamed, and it was especially rare when he meditated. Yet just then, it had happened.
There was only one sentence Su Ming was familiar with in the dream. It echoed in his ears, and even when Su Ming opened his eyes, it did not disappear even after a long time had passed.
In silence, Su Ming stood up and walked out of the stone cave. He left behind a trail of footprints in the snow and walked into the distance. He walked past mountains and rivers until the sun rose. When it was dusk, Su Ming saw a city in front of him.
It was dusk, and the city was filled with sparks of light. There were also sounds of people bustling about, and the place was bustling with activity … As Su Ming stared at the city, he closed his eyes. After a moment, when he reopened them, he walked towards the city.
While walking in the dusk, he saw the red lanterns hanging high in the houses. Many children laughed and played with the silver bells. Almost everyone in the city had a smile on their faces, and it made Su Ming remember … how his Master would bring him to an unfamiliar city on this day every single year over the past ten years. There, he would experience … the atmosphere of a new year.
It was a new year, the last day of the year. When dusk passed, night fell, and the sun rose again, a new year would begin.
Every year, on this day, Ancient Zang would celebrate. All the cities in the country would be filled with this atmosphere. The lanterns hanging high in the houses shone with light in the snow, as if they could chase away the cold from their homes … so that the night would not be cold.
Su Ming walked through the city and looked around him. He gradually lowered his head until he reached an alley in the corner of the city. There … was a noodle stall there, and a large amount of white steam rose from the boiling water in the freezing wind, covering up the old man who was cooking noodles and making them look rather indistinct.
The noodle stall wasn't big, and there were only four or five tables. There was a tent-like curtain that covered the snow, but it couldn't block much of the wind. There were two or three men sitting inside, eating scalding noodles and drinking broth that seemed to be able to dispel the cold.
"Elder Wu, it's the new year. Why don't you bring out a few pots of old wine from your collection and let us have a taste?" One of the men eating the noodles said loudly with a smile. When he spoke, white steam puffed out of his mouth, and it was incredibly obvious in the snow.
"You lot … Oh well." The old man who was cooking noodles seemed to have smiled. He turned around and brought out a pot of wine before placing it on the table.
The man immediately picked up the pot of wine and quickly drank a mouthful before he said with a smile, "That's more like it. At least we didn't waste our time coming here to celebrate the new year with you."
At that moment, Su Ming walked into the noodle stall and sat down beside a table in the corner to look at the snow and wind outside.
"Shopkeeper, a bowl of noodles."
The old man who was cooking the noodles turned his head around and cast Su Ming a glance. He brought out a bowl and scooped up a large amount of noodles. He even added some meat before placing it in front of Su Ming.
Su Ming looked at the noodles on the table and started eating them quietly. The noodles tasted pretty good. The broth was very hot, and once it entered his mouth, it felt warm. It was as if he was no longer that cold in the snow and wind.
Time trickled by. When night fell, there were not many people left on the streets. This was a festival, and it was also a day for families to reunite. At this time, families would usually gather together and watch children play and watch candlelight shine. On this night, they would experience the warmth of their families in the warmth of their homes.
Compared to the snow and wind outside, practically everyone could enjoy this warmth, but Su Ming … did not.
When the men in the noodle stall left, the moaning wind caused the tent to let out flapping sounds, and Su Ming sighed softly.
"Why aren't you going home?" The old man who was cooking the noodles sat by the side and picked up an old pot of wine that had been warmed for a while. Once he took a sip, he looked at Su Ming.
"I can't find the way," Su Ming said slowly after a moment of silence.
"It's not that you can't find the way, you just don't have a home, right?" The old man smiled and picked up another pot of wine. He came before Su Ming, sat down, and placed it before him.
With the light from the fire, Su Ming lifted his head and looked at the old man. This was a mortal, an old man whose face was covered in wrinkles. He had already reached the end of his life.
"What about you?" Su Ming picked up the pot of wine. Once he took a sip, he looked at the snow and wind outside and asked languidly, "What about you?"
"I have a home, but I'm the only one there. There's no difference whether I go back or not. It's better if I stay here." The old man smiled. More wrinkles seemed to appear on his face as he smiled, making it seem as if there was anguish in his smile.
Su Ming did not speak. He drank his wine. In the cold wind and as snow fell from the sky, the moon appeared in the night sky. Compared to the lights from the houses in the area, the noodle stall also had a light. However, under that light, there was no warmth, only a desolate desolation.
It was … a change in his thoughts. It was as if he was longing for this moment. He originally thought that the beautiful things in the past had been buried in his heart and that he no longer had a heart, but right then, in the shadow under the light, there was a pain that could not be blown away by the wind and buried by the snow.
In the midst of the pain and cold, Su Ming remembered his elder, his senior brothers in the ninth summit, Yu Xuan, Cang Lan, Xu Hui … and the bald crane, along with the faces in his memories.
As he thought about them, he finished the pot of wine.
He drank wine, but since he no longer had any tears, he could only treat the wine as tears. Once he swallowed it, it turned into a bitterness and astringency that he could never get rid of in his heart. He would make the bitterness and astringency remain, because only by doing so … would Su Ming know that he was still alive.
Only then did he know that he … had not died. Only then would he have more determination to change everything. Even if it was practically impossible … Su Ming would still make it possible!
The old man looked at Su Ming. When he asked in a hoarse voice, he brought out another pot of wine and placed it in front of Su Ming.
"They're very, very far away. What about you?" Su Ming shook his head.
"My family? Heh heh, there used to be a lot of them. I had a grandson, and he had a group of friends. They could all be considered as my family … He even found a few wives. Our family was originally very lively." The old man drank, and nostalgia appeared in his eyes.
"But one day, when I woke up, he was gone. We couldn't find him. The originally lively house was no longer lively. When everyone went out to search for him, they all left. They went to many places, but I don't know whether they found him or not." I'm the only one left.
The house is also empty. I don't know where he went, and I didn't go out to search for him. I wanted to stay here and light a lamp in the house and wait for him. If he came back one day, I didn't want him … to not be able to find his way home. I didn't want him … to not be able to see the lamp in the house to guide him, "the old man mumbled. His voice was hoarse, and there seemed to be an ancient air about him in the wind and snow.
"Honestly, I'm not really alone … Compared to me, our emperor is the one who's lonely …" The old man sighed softly, then picked up the pot of wine and took a sip.
"We all know that the emperor has three princes. Every time the three princes come of age, they will be taken away to wander the world … and once they do, they will be gone … for six thousand years …
"During those six thousand years, he is alone. He also wants to forever light a lamp in the royal city to guide his princes home, because legend has it that there is a possibility that each of our princes will lose themselves when they wander the world and will not know the way home." As the old man spoke, he lowered his head, as if he was drunk.
Su Ming was silent. He drank the last mouthful of wine from the pot of wine, then stood up and walked to the old man's side. When he swung his right hand, the wind and snow around him moved away, causing warmth to appear in the place. Then, he walked out of the noodle stall and into the snow and wind in the direction of Seven Moons Sect. He walked out of the city and into the night wind.
When Su Ming left into the distance and his figure disappeared into the night sky beyond the city, the seemingly drunk old man slowly lifted his head and stood up. He stared at the night sky, and his face slowly changed, as if time was changing his body until he became middle-aged.
He sighed softly.
"When you learn who you are, you … are no longer you. When you no longer know who you are … you are you." As he let out a soft sigh, the entire city instantly turned into an illusion. He was the only one left standing in the wind and snow. As he let out a soft sigh, he turned around and silently walked in the direction of the capital of Ancient Zang.
"What is true, and what is false. Xuan 'er … it's already been three thousand years. You … when will you understand … what is true that you seek? What is true? What is false that you think is false …?" The middle-aged man murmured. His heart ached as he slowly disappeared into the wind and snow, his figure fading away.
Only the wind and snow remained. There seemed to be a sigh in it, and it lingered in the world for a long time …
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