Su Ming forgot his own identity and lost his memories of the past. It was as if he believed from the bottom of his heart that he was the man whose wife was about to give birth.
However, there seemed to be a hint of hesitation in the depths of his heart. That hesitation was very faint and barely noticeable, as if it was a trace that was about to be wiped off in the cycles of life and death.
As the anxiety in his heart grew, that trace became fainter until even Su Ming himself forgot about it. He grabbed the doctor's arm and sent him to the palanquin. Then, without caring that the rain was getting heavier, he rushed back to his home.
When he passed by the noodle stall, he still did not pay any attention to the people inside, neither did he pay any attention to the shrill cries of the mother who had lost her child in the rain in the distance.
When Su Ming returned home and waited anxiously outside his house, he had completely forgotten everything that had happened in the past. It was as if he was a mortal at that moment, a husband whose wife was about to give birth.
His heart was filled with anxiety, and his eyes were slightly red. That feeling of uncertainty seemed to have seized his heart as his wife screamed in pain in the house …
Not long after the doctor entered the house, his wife let out a shrill scream of pain. When the door to the house was opened and Su Ming saw a baby covered in blood in the doctor's arms, like a real father, he rushed forward, intending to hug the baby, but his gaze instinctively swept towards the bed in the house. When he saw his unmoving wife, Su Ming shuddered.
Grief appeared in his eyes. He ignored the doctor and the baby and walked towards the bed. As he looked at the woman who was no longer breathing but had a motherly smile on her lips, Su Ming felt as if his heart was being torn apart.
He shuddered. That feeling was so real that it was as if he had experienced half of his life with this woman …
"Is this your choice?! Why didn't you ask me?! Why?!" Su Ming turned his head around swiftly and looked at the doctor holding the baby. His eyes were bloodshot, and there was a hint of madness in them.
He knew that there was a high possibility that only one of his wife's children could be saved due to her difficult labor, but if he had to choose, he would choose his wife without any hesitation and not the baby.
But … this choice was already a thing of the past.
The intense pain brought about by the tearing of his heart drowned Su Ming's mind. As he laughed brokenly, a storm stirred up in his mind. As it swept past him, an indistinct memory rose in his mind. In that memory, everything seemed to be a cycle of life and death. In that memory, he was no longer himself, but had become the doctor before him.
In those memories, it seemed as if … choosing to be an infant was his choice to begin with.
Confusion, madness, and an indescribable sadness in Su Ming's heart made him instinctively lift his hand. He had a strong feeling that he could destroy all lives with just one finger.
He raised his hand and pointed at the doctor.
He saw the disbelief in the doctor's eyes, and he saw a hint of understanding contained within that disbelief. That understanding seemed to have made Su Ming remember something, but it was soon filled with sadness.
The doctor collapsed and breathed his last …
Su Ming threw his head back and laughed brokenly. As his laughter echoed in the air, it seemed to be responding to the woman's shrill cries in the rain …
On that night, the doctor was not the only one who died. The four midwives also lost their lives. When the next morning arrived and the rain stopped, their corpses were buried overnight.
With Su Ming's status in the county, he only needed to spend a large sum of money to resolve all of this. But he had to continue living. Time trickled by, and one year, three years, six years …
The baby girl gradually grew up and was filled with intelligence. She became an obedient little girl, but she could not obtain her father's love. Usually, when they were alone together, she would only see her father's aloof gaze.
Her only companion was the son of the teacher in her home. He was a boy who was born a few months earlier than her, and they grew up together and studied together.
Su Ming did not like the little girl, because she was too similar to her mother. This made him remember his dead wife, and every single time it happened, his heart would ache so much that it felt as if it was about to be torn apart.
He would always stare at the sky quietly on rainy days and watch the rain fall. He would watch the entire world being enveloped in a curtain of water, and without realizing it, he would remember everything that had happened on that rainy night a few years ago.
One day, on a rainy night, Su Ming stared at the rain outside. When he closed his eyes, the world shattered into pieces and turned into a huge vortex. When Su Ming opened his eyes, the fragments instantly gathered together once more.
He was no longer the little girl's father. Instead, he was a middle-aged man in a long robe, with a scar on his face. He was a scholarly man, but because of his ugly appearance, he was repeatedly bullied by others. He had been depressed his entire life, and could only work as a teacher in this county town, in the courtyard of this man with an official's name.
"Sir, is it true that when people do many good deeds, the heavens will always see them?" A clear voice filled with uncertainty traveled into Su Ming's ears, causing him to lower his head and see two children sitting before him in the teaching house.
The two children were about six or seven years old. One of them was a boy, and the other was a girl. The one who asked the question was the little girl. There was an innocent look in her eyes as she looked at Su Ming.
He only had two students. One of them was his son, and the other was the daughter of the famous person.
He had always taught his son to be kind, to be righteous, to live his life like a pine tree, and to never give in. He had also been teaching the little girl who did not have a father's love to be independent, to not be sad, and to grow up kind …
"Of course it's true. Doing good is the beginning of a person's life. If everyone does good deeds, then there will no longer be anything bad in the world. You have to remember this. Kindness comes from your heart. Doing good is not something the heavens will always see, but when you help others, you will receive a form of cleansing in your heart," Su Ming said softly with a smile.
"I know, I know. Daddy, I saw someone fishing yesterday, so I begged the old fisherman to let the fish go. This is doing good," the boy immediately said loudly with a smile.
"All lives in the world have spirits. You did a good deed today and saved a life. In the future, you will definitely be rewarded," Su Ming said with a smile. This time, he no longer had any memories of his past in his reincarnation. In fact, even the hint of hesitation in his heart during his previous reincarnation had disappeared without a trace. He had truly become a person of this world.
"Then if I see someone fishing in the future, I will also do good." The little girl seemed to be very indignant. She cast a glance at the boy and pursed her lips.
Su Ming looked at the two children's expressions, and a smile appeared on his face. When the sun gradually began to set and he ended his lessons for the day, Su Ming went to a noodle stall in the county town alone. He sat there and asked for a bowl of hot noodle soup. The taste of the soup was pretty good. In Su Ming's memories, he always came to this place.
The owner of the noodle stall was an old man with a head full of white hair. He was dressed in gray robes, and over the years, he had been personally rolling noodles in this place. Even if he was a young worker, he was just helping out.
Usually, when there were few customers, the old man would smoke his tobacco and sit on a big rock by the side. He would use the grass leaves by the side to weave grass puppets and watch the passersby. Occasionally, he would drink a few cups with the customers. His eyes were slightly murky, but every single time Su Ming looked towards the old man, he would have a very strange feeling.
It was as if he could see a hint of pity in the old man's eyes, along with the anguish behind that pity.
It had been like this for many years, but Su Ming did not ask about it. He liked this place. He liked sitting there and drinking hot soup while looking at the passersby outside and thinking about his life.
On this day, when Su Ming put down the bowl and lifted his head, he saw the old man staring at him, just like usual. Su Ming remained silent for a moment before he suddenly spoke.
"Old man, why do you always look at me? It's not just one or two days. It's been like this ever since I came here. "
"I'm not the one looking at you. You're the one looking at yourself." The old man tapped his tobacco pipe on the ground. As he smiled, there was a profound meaning behind his words.
Su Ming looked at the old man and thought about it for a moment. He did not understand the meaning behind his words, so he shook his head.
"You don't understand, do you? Heh heh, I'm watching you. When will you stop coming here, and when … will another you come."
Su Ming frowned. Just as he was about to speak, he heard the old man mumbling to himself.
"The fisherman always comes to my place, because I buy his fish every day. This way, the noodle soup will have a fresh taste … Not all children are kind. Only those who are taught the path of kindness will try to persuade the fisherman to let go of the fish he caught …" There is a Dao in heaven, and there is a Dao in Dao.
If the child was not snatched away by the big fish, the squire's wife would not have been forced to give birth to a child. Because of that … the doctor would still be a doctor, and he would not die … The squire would still be a squire, and he would not stop loving his son.
"Because of that, he would not have the teacher teach his son. Instead, he would teach his son himself. Perhaps he would not be talking about doing kindness, and he would not try to persuade the fisherman to let go of the fish …
"Because of that, the teacher would not be around, and his son would not be around …"
When Su Ming heard this, his heart trembled. He suddenly stood up and stared at the old man blankly. He felt as if something in his mind had cracked, but at that moment, the old man sighed softly and looked at Su Ming with a complicated gaze. When he looked at him, Su Ming felt … as if he was looking at himself in a bronze mirror.
"It's not time for you to understand yet. Go, go …" The old man shook his head and tapped the opium pipe in his hand on the ground. Immediately, a bang rang out in Su Ming's mind. The world he saw shattered at that instant, and the entire world turned into a gigantic vortex.
The vortex rotated with loud rumbling sounds, and in just an instant, the shattered fragments of the world gathered together once again to turn into another picture. It turned into a different life cycle in the same world. (To be continued. If you like this work, please come to Qidian.Com to vote for me. Your support is my greatest motivation.)
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