During the conversation in the carriage, Mo Shanshan had been softly humming. Hearing Sangsang's last sentence, she hummed again without thinking. Then she realized something was wrong, so she hummed again. She raised her voice slightly at the end to express doubt and shock, as well as some complex emotions that could not be accurately conveyed by the tone alone.
If this conversation had taken place between other women in the world, they would probably have thought that it was full of tension and sarcasm. However, Mo Shanshan knew Sangsang very well, so she understood that Sangsang did not have any intention of showing off, but was seriously telling the truth.
She knew from Ning Que that Sangsang was seriously ill and came to the Lanke Temple for treatment. Although Master Qishan might have a way, even the Headmaster of the Academy could not cure Sangsang. Even if there was hope, it was very unlikely. Thinking of Sangsang's last two sentences, she felt a little sad.
It was almost noon. The black horse carriage stopped beside a Zen temple on the mountainside to rest for a while. Monk Guan Hai caught up from behind and arranged for the monks to prepare lunch. He led Ning Que and the others into a quiet courtyard.
Sangsang had spent some energy on the chess game and was still weak. After eating a few mouthfuls of vegetables, she felt a little tired. Ning Que carried her into the inner room and spread out the clean bedding on the bed to cover her. Then he carefully tucked in the corner of the quilt, making sure that no autumn wind could sneak in before he was relieved.
"I told you to ignore the chess game, but you didn't listen."
Ning Que looked at her haggard face and said uneasily.
Sangsang whispered, "But I really feel that chess is interesting. I heard that after I won, many people admired me. Aren't you happy?"
Ning Que thought about it and said, "I am indeed very happy and proud."
Sangsang smiled contentedly.
Ning Que reached out to cover her eyes and let her sleep.
Sangsang refused to close her eyes. Her eyelashes fluttered, making Ning Que's palms a little itchy.
"Ning Que."
Sangsang's voice came through his fingers.
Ning Que looked slightly surprised and said, "Yes."
Sangsang said, "You are mine."
Ning Que laughed and said, "I am yours. What is yours is yours. What is yours is all yours."
Sangsang said after a moment of silence, "I am not a good person, am I?"
"If the Lady of Light is not a good person, then who is?"
"Am I really the Lady of Light? I killed someone at such a young age. "
"When did you kill someone?"
"Didn't I kill Grandpa?"
"You only poured a bucket of boiling water. I was the one who cut it."
"Then I'm also your accomplice."
"What's going on in that head of yours?"
Ning Que was a little annoyed and said, "Since young, I have tried my best not to let you stain your hands with blood. But now, you want to prove that you have stained your hands with blood. Are you very proud?"
Sangsang turned her back to him and said, "I'm not proud. I just feel that I'm not the kind of good person many people think I am."
On the way up the mountain, Sangsang, Shanshan, and the horse carriage spoke softly, but Ning Que heard everything. He could guess what Sangsang wanted to say, but he did not want to hear it.
However, as before, Sangsang would definitely do what he did not want to do as long as she wanted to do it. Just like now, he did not want to hear it, but Sangsang still talked to herself.
"I used up all the money I had to buy the house by Yanming Lake, and I still owe Mr. Qi more than 700 taels of silver. If I can get some dividends from the gambling house after winter, then I can pay it off in advance next year. But I always feel that it is not good to owe people money, so I am thinking whether I can rent out the Old Brush Pen Shop."
"Those sent by the Emperor and the Empress are all collected into a book, which I put at the bottom of the winter clothes box in the west wing room. Her Highness sent 160 big trees. I have inquired about it. There are many rich people in West Mountain, and they like these trees very much. If you want to sell them, they will be sold for more than 500 taels of silver."
"Auntie Wu borrowed 14 taels of silver last time and hasn't paid it back. I also know that Boss Wu borrowed money from you last time, but you just know how much it is. Besides, oil, salt, soy sauce and vinegar, I don't want you to say that I am stingy again. But remember, I hid a gold brick in the brick wall behind the pile of firewood in the courtyard of the Old Brush Pen Shop …"
Sangsang looked at the wall and did not dare to turn around. She said shyly, "When I was a child, I was worried that you would not marry me when you grew up, and that your new sister-in-law would not let me stay at home. So I have been … secretly saving money, thinking that if I really got married, I would not need to worry about having some dowry. I have been saving money since I arrived in Chang 'an."
Ning Que was stunned when he heard this. He thought that both of them had lived carefully enough in their lives, but she could still save money. He could not help but admire her and said with a smile, "I think His Majesty should really invite you to be the Minister of Revenue."
Sangsang ignored his joke and said seriously, "I have saved more than 2,100 taels of silver, which are all with Auntie Jane. I know you have never liked to sell calligraphy. When you entered Chang 'an, I forced you to. If you really need money in the future, you can use my money. "
These words sounded like the last words of the mistress of the family. Ning Que was angry and amused, but he really did not care about auspiciousness. He asked, "What about the gold brick?"
Sangsang turned around and looked at him seriously. "I left that gold brick for my parents."
Ning Que recalled what she told him and asked, "You left nothing for me except the silver?"
"The shoes and socks have been made for many years. Anyway, I am not good at needlework, so you can wear them."
Sangsang suddenly remembered something and whispered, "There is a small black box under the bed in the Old Brush Pen Shop. Don't forget it."
Ning Que did not know that Sangsang had a small black box until last year.
In the small black box, there were some things that he had decided to throw away for some reason, but they were actually very precious to him, such as the funeral invitation that he had made on the rainy night after Darkie's death.
He nodded and said, "I know."
Sangsang shook her head and said, "You don't know. You threw away the letters that the Calligraphy Addict sent you after reading them, and then I kept them all. Now there are more than a dozen of them."
After a moment of silence, Ning Que said, "Reading the letters once is enough. Who would take them out all the time?"
Sangsang suddenly smiled and said, "I originally thought that when we are old and lying on the bamboo chairs in the Old Brush Pen Shop waiting for death, I would take out the small black box and let you read those letters again. I thought that would make you very happy. Unfortunately, it seems that I can't grow old with you."
"I don't know where you learned these sour words."
Ning Que put his hand into the quilt and held her slightly cold hand. He said with a smile, "That is the fantasy of the stupid literati. You are still so young, so you shouldn't be so sour and smelly."
"I haven't taken a bath for a few days. Isn't it sour and smelly?"
Sangsang said, "Young master, I may really die. I can't wait until I am old to tell you these, so I am in a hurry to tell you now. Don't think I am annoying."
Ning Que smiled and asked, "Not at all. I just want to know if you have finished saying your last words."
Sangsang happily replied, "Almost done."
Ning Que said, "You still have the energy to play chess and talk nonsense. You don't look like you are going to die. Besides, you can see Master Qishan today. The Headmaster said that he can cure you, so he must be able to cure you. What last words?"
Sangsang opened her eyes wide and insisted, "But what if? What if I can't say it in time? "
Ning Que said, "Okay, okay, okay. If you want to say it, say it every year."
Sangsang was amused by him and then began to cough. Her thin body trembled slightly and her brows were tightly knitted. Her face was pale and she seemed to be in great pain.
Ning Que flicked his left index finger and a thin piece of Fu paper floated into the air of the meditation room. It began to burn silently and turned into a warm fireball. It floated in the air like a small sun.
Then he held Sangsang in his arms and gently patted her on the back.
Sangsang coughed painfully and only felt better after a while.
She closed her eyes and said in a weak voice, "I'm not a good person and I'm not good-looking. I can do nothing but housework. But I married you. Many people will think that you have suffered a loss."
Ning Que said, "It sounds like I have indeed suffered a loss."
Sangsang smiled and said, "It's not a big deal. Who asked you to pick me up back then?"
Ning Que also smiled and said, "It's all my fault that my ears were too sharp."
Sangsang slowly opened her eyes and looked at him seriously. She said, "Ning Que, the first person I saw when I opened my eyes was you. So when I close my eyes, I want to see you die."
Ning Que confirmed, "Do you want to see me and then die, or do you want to see me die? The first part is quite sad, but the second part is too cruel. Do you really want me to die before you? "
Sangsang laughed and said, "You know what I'm talking about. When I die, you can marry her or anyone else. It's up to you."
Ning Que shook his head and said, "If you die, I really don't want to live anymore."
Sangsang said, "You said that I was jealous. Look at you, this is what a woman should say."
Ning Que said, "I am a woman."
Sangsang smiled and said, "Then I will be a man."
…
…
Sangsang fell asleep.
Ning Que walked out of the meditation room and stood in the courtyard, facing the autumn tree outside the wall. He was in a daze for a long time.
He thought of many things, the things in the past and the things in the present. Then he thought of the chess game.
Many years ago, he knew that Sangsang had an unimaginable calculating ability. It was not an exaggeration to say that she was a genius. Sangsang's ability had helped him a lot since he was a child when he was hunting in the Min Mountain and chopping firewood in the City of Wei. However, except for this kind of life-and-death battle, he seemed to selectively forget all the talents of Sangsang.
Because he was used to standing in front of Sangsang and shielding her from the wind and rain. But this time, would he still be able to shield her from the storm in the dark?
…
…
(The title is like what Su San said. Writing this kind of plot is really asking for trouble. Just like the second chapter yesterday, it is really exhausting. But I like to ask for trouble like this. Self-abuse is also a kind of pleasure. Today, the second chapter will be out before 10: 30, and there are four chapters in total today.) (To be continued. If you like this work, please come to Qidian.Com to vote for me. Your support is my biggest motivation.)
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