In the ten years after Xie Feng became an evolved human, she had never been close to the sea.
'Time is a good medicine for forgetting everything', this sentence was only said by those who benefited from the medicine of time. Apart from this sentence, there were countless people who yearned for relief day after day because they could not forget and could not be relieved.
Xie Feng could write down her experiences, she could talk about her feelings in the sea, she could speak with sincerity, she could exaggerate … But she had no way to let others truly feel what she felt that night in the sea when her arms suddenly became empty.
Whether it was the world or herself, they were all shattered into pieces. Before that moment, she had never known that there existed such absolute, endless pain in the universe.
She forgot who she was and where she was.
The last conversation between the two of them, the patrol ship on the sea, the mutated snake head … They were all too far away from her, so far that it seemed like an illusion. The world was blank, there was nothing except for one thing, and that was to let Dong Luorong float to the surface of the sea and open her eyes again.
Only then, the world would exist again, and only then would Xie Feng exist again.
Ever since the two of them met, the same situation seemed to have been repeating itself. That night was no exception. Even after her life left her, Dong Luorong still saved Xie Feng again.
It was not that Xie Feng did not think about this later. At that time, she had just evolved and was floating in the middle of the sea, facing the patrol ship and the duoluozhong. If not for Dong Luorong, she could not imagine how she could have survived that night.
But as time passed, she increasingly felt that it would have been better if she had died that night.
She followed Dong Luorong and sank to the bottom of the sea. Was that not the most ideal ending?
Even if she still lost Dong Luorong, at least she did not have to see her later self, and did not have to interact with her later self.
Most importantly, she did not have to see Dong Luorong later.
The biggest weakness and limitation of Xie Feng's newly evolved ability was that an item, as a special item, existed for a very short time. When its "Special Item Effect" expired and disappeared, the item itself wouldn't disappear.
The table lamp that she used in the hotel had turned back into an ordinary table lamp after its expiration. However, Xie Feng, who was in a special state at that time, naturally did not think of this. She also did not think that when the target was not a table lamp but a person, that person would continue to exist in the form of an item even after its expiration. Since it was an item, of course, there was no difference between life and death. There was only the difference between being in good condition and being damaged.
At that time, she only wanted Dong Luorong back.
At that time, she just could not understand why she could not have Dong Luorong in her life.
Therefore, every day that Xie Feng lived, it was as if he was atoning for the decision he had made that night. However, he could never lessen it in the slightest.
She wandered and struggled in the doomsday world with Dong Luo Rong. No matter what she encountered, no matter what situation she fell into, Xie Feng did not let her skin be scratched, nor did he let others touch a single strand of her hair. However, Dong Luorong herself, who could exist in a storage item, was the cross that pressed down on her body day after day, almost crushing her into pieces.
"I thought … you were like the others, that you were forcefully modified by the shark-type and had your memory erased," Lin Sanjiu said softly.
Almost all the memoirs in the pocket dimension came from the people who were plotted against by the shark-type. How could Lin Sanjiu know that Xie Feng was the one who did it willingly?
Most of the memoirs in the pocket dimension came from the people who were plotted against by the shark-type. How could Lin Sanjiu know that Xie Feng had done it willingly?
Whether it was the woman Quan met in the alley or the Eight-Headed Druid that Peng Ping failed to kill, they were all targets that were unknowingly trapped in the pocket dimension. Even Umoku, who claimed that he already knew about the incident, did not deny the nature of the whole thing. The shark-type used Quan's pocket dimension to forcefully modify one posthuman after another and use them for their own purposes.
"I'm sorry." Lin Sanjiu thought for a moment. She found it hard to say what she was going to say next. At least, she felt that it was very difficult to say it out loud. She hesitated for a long time before she said hesitantly, "If … if there is anything I can do …"
Xie Feng did not say anything.
When she finally calmed down from her uncontrollable crying, she seemed to have vented all her strength, her resentment toward Lin Sanjiu, her desire to fight, and her original stance. She sat on the floor with her back leaning against the reception desk. She stared blankly at the tiles beside her feet. At first glance, it was as if she had become an object.
She did not know that even the memory that she had accidentally regained today could be erased again.
Lin Sanjiu wanted to suggest this as a remedy, but she didn't know why she couldn't bring herself to say it. Besides, she was afraid that she would startle Xie Feng, who had just regained a little mental balance. After all, the real problem wasn't whether Xie Feng could remember. That was just a way to escape. The real problem was whether Xie Feng could forgive her.
When Lin Sanjiu helped Xie Feng up from the floor, she suffered a few more wounds. Fortunately, Xie Feng's mind was in a state of confusion, so she couldn't deal much damage. After thinking for a while, Lin Sanjiu sat down not far away from Xie Feng and continued to bandage her wounds without saying a word.
She sat there for almost half a day. The sunlight outside the rental agency dimmed, and the shadows grew longer. The sky was gradually dyed with a faint orange-red hue. No one knew when it started, but Xie Feng would suddenly mutter a few sentences that didn't make any sense.
Lin Sanjiu would try her best to reply to him.
"I can't die because no one will care for her. But I really can't live anymore. I don't know how that woman found out about my condition … I have never felt as hopeless as I did that day. When she asked me if I would like to enter the pocket dimension and forget everything, I agreed immediately. "
Lin Sanjiu straightened her back. The first "she" was naturally referring to Dong Luorong, but who was "that woman"?
"Someone from the Shark family?" she asked, even though she didn't think she would get an answer. "The person who used Quan's pocket dimension to transform you is a woman?"
Lin Sanjiu had been talking to Xie Feng for the past half a day, but Xie Feng didn't talk to Lin Sanjiu. She didn't even answer her questions. Her occasional whispers and fragmented memories of the past seemed more like she was talking to herself. Xie Feng still seemed to be very resistant to Lin Sanjiu, but after she lost all her strength, her resistance turned into indifference. It was as if the latter didn't exist as long as Lin Sanjiu ignored her.
However, this time, Xie Feng surprised Lin Sanjiu.
Xie Feng still didn't look at the woman beside her. She looked at her hands and asked, "Do you know why I didn't kill you?"
She wasn't exaggerating. If Xie Feng wanted to die with her, Lin Sanjiu wouldn't be able to walk out of this rental agency.
Lin Sanjiu shook her head hesitantly.
"Because I remember everything." Xie Feng was still looking at her hands. "Not only did I remember the past … I also remembered how I felt when I decided to erase my memory, and how I felt when I first saw the world after I walked out of the pocket dimension."
She suddenly fell silent.
Lin Sanjiu waited for Xie Feng to organize her thoughts.
"It's not … the feeling of being freed from a burden." Xie Feng frowned. Her voice was so soft that it sounded like she was sighing. "You're right. I don't remember what I was burdened with, so when it disappeared, I naturally didn't feel relieved. Because of that, I didn't feel happy. I'm still me, but I feel like I'm missing a piece of me. I feel empty. I stood there for a long time, not knowing where to go.
"Before that, I thought my life was so painful that I couldn't bear it. But after that, my life became a … "Xie Feng frowned. She didn't seem to know how to describe it. "It became an insignificant, meaningless thing. It didn't make any difference whether I passed it or not. Indeed, it's not painful anymore. But now that I look back and have a comparison, I realize … 'not being painful' isn't as important as I thought it was. "
Lin Sanjiu knew that she was just a person who happened to be there and heard Xie Feng's words. If it was someone else, or if it was a cat or a dog sitting there, Xie Feng would probably react the same way.
However, since Lin Sanjiu heard Xie Feng's words and thought about it, she naturally voiced her thoughts.
"Even though it was painful … your life at that time was closely related to her, right? Every minute and every second was because of her. She was there, "Lin Sanjiu said softly," I understand. If I lost my memory, I would lose my connection with her. Then, what's the difference between me and a speck of dust floating in the boundless universe? I have no source, no destination, no place to stay. "
After a few seconds, Xie Feng finally turned her head and looked at Lin Sanjiu. It was as if she was seeing her for the first time. "Yes."
"So, I didn't do anything to you, so don't expect me to be grateful to you." Xie Feng said in a hoarse voice, "However, now that I think about it, I'm not sure if she … that woman deliberately used or even pushed my mental state that day. If you want to go to Shark, I won't stop you, but I won't help you either. "
She paused for a moment before continuing, "No matter what, it was that woman who helped her find her final home. Besides, I believe that what Shark is doing now is right. Even if it's helpless and it's letting others down, I believe that its direction is right. "
(End of this chapter)
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